Jon Whitney

index || accomplishments || reference || inventory || memories || memoirs


Some thoughts scribbled down before the word "blog" was invented. Don't expect any updates soon.

I found a Noddy plush at the "free table" at work today!:

It's 11 hours from Amherst to Dearborn and 12 hours from Toledo to Boston. And my weekend was worth every minute.

After about a week or more of rainy yucky weather I biked to work again. My quads are in so much pain. Walking up stairs ain't so bad but walking down is a bitch and a half.

I think girls like the Theremin because it's like a big erect penis they don't have to touch. Heard a new funny phrase today, "about as uncomfortable as a pork chop at a bar mitzvah."

Experimental improv noise music for the most part is a bunch of jazz solos that have no song around them, no leader, and no jazz players involved.

While Jessica's away Jon will play! The dinner restrictions are lifted.

"Doom" and "Subterranean Metal" are just sad excuses for rich metal fan kids who never learned how to shred and simply don't practice.

The difference between stress and anxiety is the fear factor. When you're facing a mountain of uncertainty, it feels like there's no end, but then once you're buried under a mountain of work (nearly all of it you do because you can benefit from in the long run), it all becomes stress. I certainly don't mind being stressed right now and I'm certainly unafraid.

Cardio Activity is in the air for you and me...
Tour De France Soundtracks from Kraftwerk is like audio Gatorade. It kinda leaves a funny taste in your mouth if you're consuming it at home or in a car or something but it completely works when you're bicycling or doing any other cardio activity.

One month later and I'm still loving my job. I can't believe it took me this long to find one but I'm thankful every day. Even thankful to the job I took last year which didn't work out. I got my health insurance and ended up needing it.

There are a number of reasons I've neglected this memoirs section. I've been busy with a new job, busy with fulfilling orders, and I can't believe I drove to Toronto and back this weekend alone. Life can be very exciting.

You wouldn't bring your 16 year old into the middle of the freeway to teach them how to drive, so why are all these jackasses bringing their little toddlers into the middle of the bike path to teach them how to balance on the bicycle!!! That's what driveways and schoolyard parking lots on weekends were meant for.

I really would love a news reporter to ask me how I feel about the new Pope. I would say "I'm glad we have such a hardline conservative Nazi, he's sure to alienate even more Catholics than the last one and help bring about the end of the Catholic Church. God bless him!"

Erectile dysfunction commercials are funny. One of the latest ones which features "Bob" and how happy he is, features him tail-gating at a football game, however, if you listen closely the announcer says "Bob's doing a little tail-GETTING before the game." Nice....

Freddie Mercury must be rolling over in his grave now that one of his songs is being used for an erectile dysfunction commercial.

I bought some kites today at the toy store for under $10. Should be fun to play with.

It's a tough decision to eBay a lot of music from my past, but honestly I think this music will bring somebody else far more joy than it's bringing me now, and if there's anybody who's going to sell it, it had better be me rather than a thief.

I generally enjoy all seasons and I'm often sad by the end of the winter, but I'm really sick of this snow. However, it will be a very, very green spring and I'm looking forward to that.

I escaped from a burning car on the highway today. It's not the most fun when you're also in a foreign country. Too bad I didn't videotape it for the website!

People are tall in Holland.

Managed to get the heck outta Boston before things got messy with the latest Nor'Easter! Now I've managed to find a WiFi connection here at Dulles while I wait patiently for my 5:15 flight to Amsterdam. Nothing but junk food in this terminal.

I'm finally eating solids again! Man am I sick of canned soups. But the Jello still feels good.

All these days without dairy. You know, I'm kinda beginning to like this soy milk stuff.

02.03.05: 2:30pm
Went to the doctor for the first post-op checkup. Good news: I'm right on course. He says the pain should rapidly drop off any day now (7-10 days from surgery). The healing is taking a while but isn't any longer than it should be. I can eat if I want but I should probably stay away from crunchy things as my palette heals about 1 millimiter per day. The tongue swells up naturally since the tonsils are at the base of the tongue - the tongue is so traumetized from the surgery that it takes a while to return to its normal size.
He says that I will have bleeding again at some point as there are scabs where the tonsils were but like last time it shouldn't be much or prolonged.
I shouldn't worry about traveling, HOWEVER, and here's what really sucks: I shouldn't have any alcohol (mouthwash included) until after I get back as the palette and wounds are still healing. HOW CAN I GO TO BELGIUM AND NOT DRINK THE BEER?

We'll see.

02.03.05: 6:00am
Woke up in pain because I haven't been waking up every three hours to take my pain medication. Man, if I lapse on that still, I'm wrecked. This infliction is more powerful than I thought.

02.02.05: 10:30pm
Sandy and Linda came over to keep me company and play Scrabble. Sandy is the uber champion of Scrabble and I originally asked her to go easy on me. I won anyhow. I can't believe that one. I guess I just had some lucky picks.

02.02.05: 3:01pm
I'm wondering if it's ethically acceptable for people like Jell-O to simply list "gelatin" as an ingredient without specifying what is actually "in" gelatin.
Gelatin is just a processed version of a structural protein called collagen that is found in many animals, including humans. Collagen actually makes up almost a third of all the protein in the human body.
It is a big, fibrous molecule that makes skin, bones, and tendons both strong and somewhat elastic. As you get older, your body makes less collagen, and individual collagen fibers become crosslinked with each other.
You might experience this as stiff joints (from less flexible tendons) or wrinkles (from loss of skin elasticity).

The gelatin desert you eat comes from the collagen in cow or pig bones, hooves, and connective tissues.

To make gelatin, manufacturers grind up these various parts and pre-treat them with either a strong acid or a strong base to break down cellular structures and release proteins like collagen.
After pre-treatment, the resulting mixture is boiled.
During this process, the large collagen protein ends up being partially broken down, and the resulting product is called gelatin.
The gelatin is easily extracted because it forms a layer on the surface of the boiling mixture.

02.02.05: 5:24am
I'm actually sleeping through the night. I was only awoken by the sound of my stupid cat puking and NOT the pain. The pain is going away. Either that or it's more bearable now. All I know is I can sleep a little more comfortably than before.

02.01.05: 3:00pm
Started my taxes today. I had to call a bank to get a reprint of a statement. My voice is -barely- coming back now but I sound like a reatard.
02.01.05: 3:00am
There are times when I actually geel like the pain is on its way out or subsiding and there's times like now which are so f'n excrutiating I feel like I really am in hell. It's almost Day 7. I'm so tired of this.

01.31.05: 9:00am
Day 6. I've now lost seven pounds since Wednesday. I'm feeling very faint and woozy. I think the soreness is slowly subsiding but that's VERY slowly. I'm afraid to lie down for fear of choking on drool or blood. What I wouldn't give to sink my teeth into a burrito right now. Today's comfort music: Sugar Plant.

01.30.05: 5:15pm
Bleeding finally. The instructions say if bleeding occurs and stops, it is probably the scab coming off and not to worry. But if it persists, call the hospital. Great...

Liquid diet sucks. I honestly can't wait to be able to eat real food again even though I'm not all that hungry. I pour a glass of something and eventually have a few sips but never finish a drink. If I keep this up I'm gonna lose even more weight. I've lost 5 pounds since Wednesday. I'm ready for this pain to be over. I'm very faint, awake, then asleep. Sometimes it feels like the pain is on its way out and other times it feels more unbearable than ever. Today's comfort music: Labradford.

The pain is more excrutiating than I can describe. It's like a piercing from my throat to my ears. My tongue has been swollen all night long, making it nearly impossible to sleep without drooling all over the place. Still no phlegm or blood spitting! Mom went home today. Hope I can make it fine w/o needing any emergency things for the next week. Today's comfort music: Cocteau Twins.

Waking up every three hours to take pain medication isn't fun. Being in pain is less fun, however. I need to keep hydrated but it's so painful to swallow even water.

At home finally alone, emptied about 200+ emails and packaged some stuff to send out. Took my first percosets about 40 minutes ago and am finally lying in my own bed. I feel great. Comfort music: Mark Hollis and late-era Talk Talk. So good to be home.

Woke up at 5am to go in for surgery. Mom drove me to the hospital as it began to snow again. 38 inches in Salem this past weekend - now we're getting more! Showed up, registered, changed, got into the bed, got an IV stuck in me, anaesthesiologist showed up and started injecting my IV tube with things and that was the last I remembered. Didn't recall being wheeled out into surgery or in to recovery. When I woke in recovery I was breathing on my own and there were tons of monitors around me and above me. I noticed as I dozed off, the respirator monitor would give singals. I waited there for hours until I could be wheeled up to my room. Had to spend the night there. My mom and Patrick were waiting there and it was a pleasure to see them although I couldn't talk. He left, I had some liquid lunch, and Tom came by, he left, Jessica came by and her and my mom left. It was the worst night. I was in pain all night, waking up every 20-30 minutes to swallow painfully, but no blood spitting or phlegm throwing. Not bad.

Oh yes, it is a snowy winter, just as I predicted.

I've had enough professional experience to see bad clues from management from interviews. One manager hired somebody other than me one, didn't check his references then the guy ditched them on his first day. I was brought in after I was told I didn't get the job but they never did their homework, and it was a chronic problem as the job went on. Another potential employer once chose somebody over me because they had more software programming (but less web experience) than I. Bored and overqualified, this person left after six months and at that time I had moved on. Now, I received a shock today when I found out a potential manager is giving all the second round candidates a job to do to see how they can do it. What a brilliant idea! Somebody who does a thorough job from day one is probably going to be a thorough manager and wish me luck getting the job!

My tonsils are coming out on January 26th finally. After years and years of tonsilitis and sleep apnea, I'm finally getting rid of these things. So I went to the hospital today to fill out that "I understand that I can die" paperwork and the administer is registering me. She says "you're getting ynsils out" and is going through my numbers of contacts, social security, home address, then she asks me "would you like a phone in your room?" Think about that one. Who will I be talking to the day have my tonsils yanked out? I guess there's a reason she's not the surgeon.

Haven't forgot about this place but haven't had a lot to say. Went to a funeral, got laid off, Christmas, New Years. I think 2005 will be a good year. I always have better luck in odd years than even years.

I posted my condolence at 5am this morning:
For over half of my life, Geff has touched me in one way or another. He was at first a mystery, then an obsession, then an idol, then an inspiration, and finally a friend. The reality of his departure has not set in, but then again, with him, reality was always questionable.

I'll never forget one time while Sleaz was away, Geff called me from the house. He had visions and images and stories about past lives. He had told me that he sees Ireland in me - as if I had a past life there. "Do you have Irish ancestry?" he asked, but alas, I have none. Then he went on to describe past lives of other friends and associates and I forget who went where but when he got to David Tibet he stopped and said, "Tibet has no past life."

Somehow I expect that if anybody figures out how to use a phone from beyond the material world, he will. I am eternally grateful for the years of magick, for opening new worlds and his world to me, and he will remain forever in my heart and memories.

It's Sunday, although I couldn't believe this person died it isn't beyond the realm of possibility. Right now I feel almost like I did on 9/11. The numbness is familiar.

Just as I'm in the most pain imaginable with my tonsils, facing thoughts of mortality, I have been delivered the news of a good friend's passing. I don't know how to react. It's entirely possible but it's hardly believable.

For those who don't know how tonsilitis feels, consider yourselves lucky. It's basically a shooting pain from the back of the throat which goes directly to the ears. As it constricts the air passage, a full night's sleep is impossible. Grogginess, tiredness, grouchiness ensues during the day. Each time it comes back it gets worse and worse and I get angrier and angrier at the people who chose -NOT- to remove my tonsils when I was much younger. This time they need to come out. Just make sure if anything happens nobody plays terrible music at my funeral.

11.03.04 (part two)
I had a brilliant idea on my ride into work today: a new video game called "REPUBLICAN ASSASSINATION." You choose which character you want to be: the hippie, the college professor, the laid off auto worker, the filmmaker, the militia veteran, the downtrodden black person, the homosexual, the European, the arab, etc... And you'd go out on to shoot down targets like anti-abortionists, pedophile priests, businessmen, politicians, secret servicemen, cops, and the vice president. Of course, you would never be able to take down the commander BUT the big prize of course is to kill the puppetmaster, like Karl Rove. I'd copyright this idea if I could and make a buttload of money since it's completely out of line and far more offensive and inappropriate than Grand Theft Auto. However, I'll probably get on some watchlist for publishing this idea on this web page.

I'm slowly coming to the realization that the only way to succeed in a capitalist society is stop believing in ideals and the goodness of humans and start believing in what will make you loads of money.

There's no doubt in my mind the election results are frustrating, disappointing, and sad. They have written hate into the constitutions of many states, and the country is moving backwards in terms of issues that we need to go forward on. However, as my mom always says, "count your blessings." Although the bullies, rich kids and the corporations seem to always win, we do live in a place where we can express our opinions to some extent, pursue our dreams to some extent, and enjoy some of the best things in life to some extent. Sure, we don't have as many freedoms as we did before but we're not in a place like Haiti or the Sudan. Furthermore, it gives me great comfort to know Dick Cheney will die of a heart attack very soon, before the next four years are up. I look forward to dancing on his grave.

What frightens me most about the latest Osama bin Laden tape is that I actually agree with some of the things he's saying. We need to stop funding governments who do nothing but launch missiles and our security is never in the president's hands.

More dreams remotely revolving around talk shows: last night I think I was getting over anxious about the Red Sox parade today and I dreamt that Kelly Ripa was in town for it and ended up hanging out in my house and going through my CD collection. Judy Collins was in my back yard drinking on a patio that I don't have and I think Jessica Simpson was there somewhere.

10.27.04: We will never forget
- Full Moon
- Lunar Eclipse
- 27 plays on the 27th
- My birthday
- Sox win the World Series

John Peel died today. Unfortunately I believe the only shred of professional radio integrity left on this planet has died with him.

I never realized how much Yanni and Ron Jeremy look alike.

Another weird dream: this one involved a friend from St. Louis visiting Boston and us driving backwards on the highway! Must be this World Series or something. However, I woke up to the horror of it -NOT- being the weekend we switch our clocks back and I don't get an extra hour's sleep. Damnit.

Jandek plays live, Sox beat the Yanks to go to the world series. Looks like 2012 is arriving about eight years early.

The Billy Joel musical has got to be one of the worst things that has ever happened to music.

Watching the game tonight I realize how much I hate the damn Yankees.

This country is full of barbaric hypocritical monsters. I cannot express how angry I am today. In the news, sharing a page are a story about juveniles and the death penalty and the Ten Commandments in front of state houses. Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't one of the Ten Commandments "Thou Shalt Not Kill"??? Don't quote god if you can't follow god.

Is Bush wired?
Well, politicians have been puppets ever since the Republicans discovered Reagan. Actors make perfect puppets since they learn lines and can pretend they really mean things. Schwartzenneger needs to have a heart attack from all the years of steroids before anybody lets him run for office.

One week later and I've made the best video I have ever made. Once again for 27:
Every Day

I produced two music videos for the band 27 today. What did you do on your day off?
The Cause

Anybody who says Bush "won" the debate tonight either wasn't watching or didn't need the debate to tell confirm who they're voting for.

Some people in this country piss me off so much. It's usually the rich white right-winged assholes who are in control of everything. How come when CBS news doesn't have authentication on memos that go AGAINST the president, he gets trampled on by some dick who's got a web log? It makes national headlines and forces Dan Rather to apologize. Why doesn't that work in reverse? Why did no questions of the authenticity of photos of Iraq and their "chemical labs" make national headlines? Why isn't the f'ing president accountable for bad information? Why hasn't he said he's sorry? Why is there this double standard for the right winged machine? It's so irritating and it's destroying democracy and the "free press" as we think we have.

All pain is in the head.

Florida is about to get hit with another hurricane. In the news I read that people are boarding up windows and it made me wonder just one thing: why don't they make houses in Florida with special boarding ability? Certainly that should be something worth investigating.

Hopes and desires are a blessing and a curse. While it can be frustratingly painful for the heart to long for something it will probably never have, if we didn't have aspirations there would be no point in getting out of bed in the morning.

I had two weird dreams last night: one where I was interviewing Bill O'Reilly (man I don't know why I'm always dreaming of talk shows) and I asked him flat out why him and the rest of the cable news media are trying to divide America? Why is everybody so hellbent on rallying opposing viewpoints for ratings? It's such an irresponsible thing to do and it's having its effect on society. The next dream was with me and somebody who I didn't recognize driving around getting supplies for something. I was then captured and questioned by the FBI about this guy's stuff, they wouldn't tell me why or who or how, but just showed me a bunch of things they captured in his trunk and asked me what I knew about them. First thing was a blank cassette tape (it was "Maxell metal" - remember those? position IV on your tape deck?) and I was like "I'm a DJ, I used to tape all my shows with cassettes. And then I thought to myself, before I answer anything stupid, I should probably get a lawyer, and told them I'll be back on Thursday. No idea what they mean.

Nobody eats the last donut at the office because nobody wants to be the one who didn't throw the box out.

All this DNC Boston stuff is insane and it hasn't even started yet. Yesterday I met Fred Willard, a crew from Telemundo, and had a dream last night I was driving Dan Rather around town in my truck and it wasn't for the limo company.

I stepped into the elevator today after getting lunch and the woman inside the elevator looked at me and said "it's hot out there." So I looked directly at her and said "look, we get ten days of the year like this, tops. I'm not complaining."

I figured out the mechanism behind the auto flushing urinals at Holyoke Center today by accident. While standing there, I leaned back to grab some paper towels to blow my nose and the thing went off. I realized I didn't even have to move my feet, I could just lean back and the thing would flush! I guess simple pleasures for simple minds, right?

Ronnie was adopted today. I called the shelter to find out if she came back from foster care and they told me "she was adopted just this second!" I hope she's got a good home.


Jessica and I went to RRRecords today and on our way home stopped and got some dinner on Route 1. When we came out, some people discovered two abandoned kittens. One woman took one and the other, well, nobody else would take so Jessica and I took her with the intentions of bringing her to the MSPCA and getting her checked out/okayed, and perhaps adopting her.

We brought her home and my 12 year old cat just wouldn't stand for it, so we brought Ronnie (we named her after Ron at RRRecords) to the MSPCA.She's so tiny we didn't know if she could/would eat on her own. If she couldn't they would have had to put her down tonight because there was nobody there who could hand feed her. Luckily she took to the food really quick and ate and ate and ate.

She purrs in my hands and took an immediate liking to me, and it was sort of bittersweet to say goodbye because we were assured that kittens this cute are snatched up really quickly. However, if somebody we knew adopted her, we could see her every now and again! So, if anybody's looking to adopt Ronnie, she's adorable, look at that pic, - - that's my hands she's in!! - she's at the MSPCA on South Huntington in Boston (right close to the Milky Way) and has a record number of 256693. Their number is 617-522-7400 and the small donation/fee you give covers all her shots and for her to be spayed so she can't make more kittens like this!

Please let me know if you're gonna adopt her.

On the airplane on the way home from Shannon. Overall, it was a good trip. I'm still anxious about my employment/money situation when I return but it's not anything I can't handle. I'm eternally grateful to everybody I've stayed with and hope to go back soon. It was neat to have wireless internet connection in Shannon Airport. It's only a matter of time before airlines have wireless piped through the cabins.

The longer I spend in London, the more tired I'm getting of London and the more broke I'm going. I really don't have the kind of money I'm spending.

TG show last night. It was nice to meet a bunch of people I had only ever read about and emailed in the past. As for the band, they put on a good show but it seemed almost anticlimactic in the wake of the festival being cancelled. Maybe it's because with their disclaimers, they were treating it more as a recording session than an actual concert.

Had another dream about a talk show last night/this morning. For some reason David Letterman was broadcasting live from my parent's kitchen. It was night, kinda rainy, and I was out in the driveway setting up weird objects to throw water balloons at. Johnny Cash was the guest and I was asked to throw some at him later on but I didn't want to do it. All of a sudden, down the street drove a caravan of big cars with glowing lights advertising some science fiction show or channel (which wasn't the Sci Fi Channel actually). Then somebody (this jerk I knew from my childhood) sped up the driveway, ran over some of the plastic things I had arranged and nearly crashed his car into the garage.

Finally arrived in London. Tony and Nadine picked me up from the train station. The girls are getting bigger and Tony and Christine don't look like they've aged at all in the last five years. Luckily they say the same about me!

Leicester wasn't as nice as Dublin. People were rude, the space was small, and the band got angry at all the noise being created by chatters right in front of them. I feel really bad for them. I got my just desserts, however, and feel like I finally had to pay for all the times I've made friends wait while I talk with people in bands after shows. We were there until about 2:30 am, which means that I was in the same room for 7 hours total. The same smoky small smelly room. It's here I finally began feeling a little homesick.

I bought some postcards from Scotland as I wonder who would want a postcard from England? What can be picturesque enough to send from London? I rode the train for a few hours back to Stockport. It's like a trip from Boston to NYC although there's nothing to look at in Connecticut. Had a nice conversation on the train, slipped my card, maybe we'll be in touch. Arrived, picked up my stuff, and left James and his parents back in Stockport. I'll see him in London next week before we head up to Cambridge to play our gig there. What a great place and great people. I'm on my way now to Leicester, birthplace of Graham Chapman and home to Volcano the Bear. I'm completely exhausted all the time, perhaps from all this travel and sleeping in unfamiliar places and not getting enough sleep at night. I hope to be back in form when I make it to London on Saturday. I'll be able to crash there and leave all my stuff at Tony's place and travel light to Cambridge and around London for the following week I'm here.

Going up to Glasgow on the train it's amazing how many damned sheep there are in this country. Met Daniel Padden and we drove up even further north. Saw a loch and had some haggis. In Glasgow we can drive an hour north and the landscape completely changes, becoming mystical, ominous, and beautiful. Damn, an hour north from Boston and you're in f'n New Hampshire.

Went and saw Adem (of Fridge) with his new band tonight along with Explosions in the Sky in Sheffield. Sheffield's not too far from Stockport. Needless to say the bands were surprised to see me show up in a random British city. It was great to finally meet Emma. Adem's show was great. Got home and we heard some great KLF and FGTH mixes along with some of the truly worst records ever. Jessica and Patrick called: it's nice to hear how appreciated I am back at home even if it's only because they couldn't cook the food without me. Can't wait to find out what's happening on 24.

(later in the day) James was waiting to pick me up at the airport. Went to his place and had a nap. Got to properly meet his folks and give his mother tons of cinnamon gum and candy and apologize as some had been ransacked by the Stapleton kids. I'll have to send more. I also had the first shower today since I left Boston on Wednesday. (It's Monday, by the way.)

It's 5:15am in Dublin Airport. Here I am waiting to fly to Manchester. Sure, I thought 6 Euros were a damn reasonable price but those fuckers charged me 80 more damn Euros because my suitcase is 16kg overweight. There won't be anybody on this flight. You think they would be a little nicer. Anyhow, negativity aside, I've fallen in love with the people of Ireland. I couldn't have asked for nicer hosts in Steve and Dido, Petr was amazing in picking me up at the Airport when I came in and the show last night was incredible. Packed to the max. Z'ev was fantastic. Aranos was amazing. The crowd was super nice and the promoters were very generous (I think I may have fallen for one of them too cos they were super sweet). It was a great idea to bring some stuff to sell over here, it worked out for the best for me in the end. Now if only I could find some postcards. That would be "grand" as everybody over here seems to be saying now.

I'm going to miss Steve and Dido and the kids. They're all really cool and full of positivity and energy. I hope to come back again and hope they come to the USA for a visit.

I spent the day walking around the limestone of the Burren with Chris Wallis. Nature is simply breathtaking here. I'm utterly speechless. Videos were taken and will be shared eventually. Had some great lunch today including some South African jerky type treats. It was very odd but kind of addictive. Dido asked me for a chili recipe the other day and she actually bought the stuff for it tonight and made some.

You can see yesterday's video travels in the directory here. I filmed a lot of stuff around Petr Vastl's place. It was far out. There should be more today if you change the last two numbers to reflect April 30th. I'm at the Stapleton ranch and the place is a trip. Four children, horses, chickens, dogs, bunnies, fishies, but the sheep and lamb have gone missing. Perhaps it's the jerky farmer next door who's stolen them. Yesterday was sunny and beautiful. Today's kind of murky and grey and I'm sure it'll rain some time. The place has a very mildewy moldy musty odor yet everything's dry right now. I guess in the wet winters lakes form as the rain just comes down the nearby mountain. It is pretty nuts. Diana (she's called Dido) asked what I liked to eat at home and I told her I like to cook a lot. So we went to the grocery store and got some fish and veggies to make up at the house. I cooked for the family and they either loved it or were being very kind.

2:30am UK time and they just came 'round to serve dinner. They offered beef or chicken, and, while I am not a vegetarian, I'd honestly prefer a pasta or rice dish over the crap they'll serve. Sure enough, the chicken arrives and it's probably been cooked in a cheap ass soy sauce and smells like dirty feet. They could have at least thawed the bread roll. I put the tray aside and pull for the laptop again. I guess I wasn't told that CD players aren't allowed to be used during flights so I guess I'll listen while I type. That thing's getting packed in the suitcase for the ride home. I should get some sleep but the upcoming issues of The Brain are very entertaining.

Here I am above the clouds. I feel sorry for all those investment bankers I drive all the time. They must hate air travel but every time is magic for me still. I'm actually living my dreams, not making tons of money so I can support a lazy gold digger and an army of selfish fuck byproducts who want more and more and more. They've got it all wrong. It's not about material wealth but about creative production and contribution to life and humanity. Isn't artistic creation what separates us from other forms of life? It's also weird I can't listen to CD players on airplanes any more.

I often have dreams about being back in school (high school or college) but with current friends I didn't know back then. I can't remember who I was with tonight in my dream but I was in college and I do recall something about my old white car and running around campus in my underwear with tapes or CDs in my hand.

In last night's dream, Jason Priestly had a talk show and Ellen Degeneres was a guest. She brought a pet on the show, which she referred to as a chitten - but it was a cat crossed with a chow dog. It was all the rage in Hollywood as celebrities wanted chows who could poop in a litter box.

Last night's dream was another recurring theme of going into a record store and finding things I've not searched for, but released I've dreamed and hoped bands would make. In this one I just casually bought a Meat Beat Manifesto music video collection on DVD.

Now that people can't smoke in bars in Boston, the floors of clubs are much cleaner. My feet were tired at the Stereolab show tonight so I took my shoes off, and suddenly I recalled numerous recurring dreams of mine where I'm at rock shows with my shoes off. Maybe it's some fear of getting my socks dirty that I've just overcome.

My friend writes this one: you were in my dream last night, i ran into in the street. you were smoking a cigarette and went to offer one and it was lit. i said "they come out of your pack lit?" and you said "they always do," and when i looked in it, you had burning cigarettes, each capped with tinfoil to keep them from burning each other. most of them were almost all the way gone already. but the point is, then we kept going our separate ways again. you were talking to a guy on a bike, and i was suppose to go somewhere else. thought id tell you. ciao.

Today we rocked down to Electric Avenue, but then we didn't take it higher.


WZBC bag and everything!

After two weeks of subzero weather, I woke up to a balmy 29F this morning. I didn't see my breath and my nose hairs didn't freeze up!

I really hate the internet abbreviation "LOL." It's too overused. Try something like "LMFAOROTFFL."

It would suck if we could be reincarnated as appliances. I wouldn't want to be reincarnated as the motion sensor for those auto-flush toilets. Imagine what they see all day.

I guess I haven't written in here much lately because I haven't got a 2004 wall calendar yet. But I'll try to backtrack to the days thoughts I've had over the last couple weeks.

This year's mix CD swap party was late. Last night, my mix was another 2xCD set: this one all with bands with double names: Bang Bang, Click Click, Helicopter Helicopter, Lisa Lisa, Gus Gus, Major Major, Talk Talk, Xiu Xiu, Tora Tora, Rema Rema, Medium Medium, Nice Nice, Sing Sing, Tok Tok, and of course the Happy Happy Joy Joy song. I packaged it in a box of Double Stuff Oreos. The cookies were promptly eaten at the party.

-4 on the Fahrenheit scale this morning. It was neat driving through the tunnels watching it climb up and up and up to like 13 then plummet back down once out of the tunnel.

Your Pazz & Jop albums ballot was submitted as follows:

Ellen Allien - Berlinette - Bpitch Control
The Bug - Pressure - Tigerbeat6
Colder - Again - Output
Kinski - Airs Above Your Station - Sub Pop
Landing - Passages Through - K
Manitoba - Up In Flames - Domino
Nudge - Elaborate Devices for Filtering Crises - Tigerbeat6
The Sea and Cake - One Bedroom - Thrill Jockey
Soft Pink Truth - Do You Party? - Sounds Like Records
Thighpaulsandra - Double Vulgar - Retractor

Your Pazz & Jop singles ballot has been recorded as follows:

!!! - "Me and Giuliani Down By The Schoolyard" - Touch & Go
Black Dice - "Cone Toaster" - DFA
Broadcast - "Pendulum" - Warp
Cabaret Voltaire - "Yashar remixes" - Mute
Kid 606 - "The Illness" - Tigerbeat6
Manitoba - "If Assholes Could Fly" - Domino
Mojave 3 - "Bluebird of Happiness" - 4AD
Papa M - "Two" - Drag City
Soft Pink Truth - "Acting Crazy" - Sounds Like Records
Venetian Snares - "Find Candace" - Hymen

If there is an error in the information you submitted, please contact us and state your full name and the problem. Please print this page for your records.

I have gone from a classroom, giving a final to twenty something young adults who learn from me, respect me, or at least give me their attention to a job where rich jerks take me for granted and colleagues just bitch.

After eight years of web work being featured in CMJ, Billboard, The Wire, Entertainment Weekly, the BBC, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation and numberous other publications, Brainwashed is FINALLY mentioned in a local Boston publication.

Sometimes you come across a picture in an old box of photos that you have long forgotten you had taken and the subject and picture both take you back and take your breath away.

Had the strangest dream last night - I found a video of an ex girlfriend performing an act on me online. Then I found my bedroom was bugged with a spy camera. Oy it was frightening.

It's not fair getting sick twice in a matter of a couple weeks.

I sometimes hate the Internet, and the paranoia it breeds: finding out a number of possibilities of diseases which have symptoms of whatever flu you just happened to catch.

I don't know what I ate today but my stomach sounds like the creature from Poltergeist.

Prince Charles fellating a servant? That's disgusting. Prince Henry, however, that's a different story.

I think most music journalists get burnt out young and jump ship to a career they can make money in. Unfortunately, the downside is that most music journalists who are currently writing are probably too young and too isolated to know about anything that doesn't have to do with Sonic Youth, NYC, or 1978. Example: I got an email press release from a very popular label whose reaches are far and wide about some new band featuring a guy named Tom Bailey. I wrote back to the girl saying "Tom Bailey of the Thompson Twins?," and she replied noting that I was the only person to notice and ask! I'm sadly not surprised.

Tonight, Jessica, Patrick and I went north to Amesbury and to play with kittens, eat fish tacos, and get a drink at a pirate bar. We drove the long way home down the coast. Don't believe me? click here.

Tonight I was filming a show at T.T. the Bear's. I was in my little corner of the sound booth where the sound guy graciously allows me to set up my camera, out of his way, in a place where I can see the entire stage. Somebody who's back there tonight asks me what I'm filming for. I tell him I'm filming for a website where I publish these video segments once per week. I proceed to explain to him what brainwashed is. He tells me he works for the Boston Globe and asks if he can get a tape of the show. I ask him if he can try and get a feature on Brainwashed in the Globe. He outright refuses and thinks I'm out of line for asking such a thing. I go on to explain that I've been featured in Billboard, CMJ, Entertainment Weekly, The Wire, Canadian Broadcasting Company, and numerous other places but have never had any coverage in a Boston publication. He goes on to say that he knows So-and-so at the band's record label and can ask for a tape himself, whatever, blah blah blah. In the end, it's my tape and I made the agreement with the band to do a short video segment on the web, not to hand out video tapes of the show to people I just met. By giving him a tape I violate their trust and go against my word. Sure, he claims he might show it to a friend and watch it only once, but that's not the point. I would have gone back on my word and leaked something out that was not authorized by the group. This group is on an indie label without a written contract: the band is in control of their music and it's not my call to give something like this away. So I'll never get coverage in The Globe by this writer. Big deal. My life doesn't change with or without it, honestly. And at the end of the day, there are hundreds of people lining up to take his job. He's replacable. I'm not.

Second rate comedians with primetime network shows are now harassing me.

Interesting typo today at the Indian restaurant: they have (no lie) on their menu at this place in Arlington a "Vaggie Platter" and a "Non-Vaggie Platter."

24 hours later and I can't stop thinking that if quantum and relativity theories merge that could either negate the existence of god or prove its existence.

Spending my birthday in my birthday suit.

The DJ is such a bizarre cultural concept. The DJ who spins at weddings and Bah Mitzvahs is usually the DJ who makes the best living at it. Un fortunately he/she has to hear the same things over and over again and partake in stupid line dancing and other abominable tasks. The commercial radio DJ usually knows absolutely nothing about music but doesn't care since they were only hired on their voice. To a club DJ, there's no such concept that other types of DJs exist. To a techno DJ, however, there's no such concept that a record more than two weeks old exists. Then there's the college radio DJ, who is probably the least jaded by the industries and is probably the DJ who can get away with the most - playing whatever the hell they want whenever the hell they want - of course, they make no money.

Life is too damned short.

I have driven to and back from New Jersey and have basically been in a car since 10am. It's 2:22 am. I have been awake since 5:30 am yesterday. The power coming back on woke me when my lights went on all of a sudden. I couldn't get back to sleep easily so I checked my email and such only to find out my close friend Julie had died in a car crash. She was very young, just finished her Master's degree and began teaching high school in Brooklyn. It's not an easy task and she had 39 students to look after. She had an amazing heart with so much devotion and unconditional love. She was very active in her church and was a youth counselor, and unfortunately had to counsel children in NY after 9/11, some who lost friends and family, one who lost both her mother and father. When everybody used her shoulder to cry on, she would come to me when she needed somebody to listen to her. I respected everything about her, including her devotion to her religion, which is funny, because every educated religious person likes me because while I'm "agnostic" I'm "spiritual" in some way! We talked a lot over the phone and always planned times to get together again but they never happened. Regrettably we didn't spend enough time together. I really did love her and will miss her dearly. As some might say "God must have bigger plans for her in the afterlife." It's unfortunate her students and colleagues will not get the chance to spend years getting to know and love her. Life is too short to go through it without telling people how you truly feel: whether you appreciate them, like them, love them, and even have been hurt by them.

Governor Enron Schwartzenegger Hitler Kennedy Schriver is a frightening thought. My thoughts and prayers have never been this strong for the entire state of California.

If the Red Sox play the Chicago Cubs in the World Series, are we to soon expect fire & brimstone, night turning into day, the seas turning to blood, and Dick Clark aging?

Let me state that I'm opposed to war. I think back to high school and the bully who was always going "you wanna fight, you wanna fight" was completely crazy, and the governments who do the same are no different. However, people should know that the price of being a soldier is your life. I see and hear things on the TV and radio about families upset that they don't know when their son/daughter husband/wife father/mother will return. They need to understand these things before they enlist. They chose to be a soldier. There's no draft in this country any more. Somebody who's trained to kill must be prepared to die. As a friend or family member, it's your own responsibility to treat every conversation as if it's your last.

I guess it's still okay for me to feel star-struck when I get an email from a fairly famous person who I look up to.

Angela Landsbury smells of cheap perfume. And, like every white celebrity, doesn't tip.

I was talking recently to somebody living here in Boston from San Francisco and all they were saying was how much Boston sucked. Now, rather than take the knee-jerk reaction and blast back, I curiously inquired why. I didn't seem to get any answer that made sense aside from his own snotty attitude. Everything he claims Boston fails at he clearly didn't know. The best food places aren't necessarily the places all the tourists and transplants know immediately, the same goes for the best theatres and music events. The drivers we both agreed on, actually, but the attitude is really a major disappointment. It's very closed minded and certainly this isn't somebody I'm eager to ever have another conversation with as they're clearly more obsessed with themselves.

I love Indian buffets, but I'm always creeped out by the employees just standing around watching you eat.

Despite nearing the point of mental exhaustion, I'm heading out to another show tonight, because any place is better than being at home right now.

You can't be without doing.

I'm exhausted from this weekend of shows and completely out of patience thanks to working every other breathing moment.

MOR is alive and well and opening up for Goldfrapp on tour right now.

Nothing like a bicycle chain breaking on the way to school to make you feel like a big loser, walking half the way with a chain dangling. Thankfully one of the students was super, super nice and offered me a ride home in mom's station wagon. I'm completely shocked by the kindness of some people some times. And rightfully thankful too. I wish more people would do things to brighten others' days.

Have you ever been completely alone in the elevator and let one rip? You giggle and then the stink hits. You don't mind, except when the elevator stops and somebody gets in and you're the only one there.

I took photographs of and shook hands with the Dalai Lama today!

I'm so glad non-drowsy antihistamine medications are now available without prescriptions. It's helping me through this killer ragweed season.

Sorry if it feels like I've been neglecting you. Life has been insanely hectic over the last week. Thursday night included filming/interviewing bands, got home about 1:30, awake on Friday morning early for an all day meeting at school, left directly to go to Northampton for another interview/filming of a show, got home 2:30 am, fell asleep at 2:45 am only to wake at 4:45 am to go driving all day Saturday. I got home from work about 5pm and immediately went out to a friend's barbecue and got home, fell asleep and woke up around 5am on Sunday for more driving madness. Sunday, got home, worked on The Brain this week and as many other websites as I can and Monday and Tuesday were filled with running around, getting things done, and more shows. I sincerely do miss working a full time 40 hour per week job with weekends, vacations, sick time and paid holidays.

Our idols are far from infallible.

I am the envy of gay men worldwide. Not only for my devlishly good looks, but I met and talked with and drove around Donna Summer for a few hours this afternoon. Might I add one thing, however: I'm convinced white celebrities never tip. Only the black celebrities tip me.

I see the ragweed everywhere. It's on the side of the road, in the pavement, in the grass, on the sidewalks. It's talking to me. It says "Jon, you can't escape us this year. Last year's Allegra won't help you now. HAHAHAHA!"

Just another one of those days you have to bring both a raincoat and sunglasses when leaving the house.

There are no less than four sets of fingernail clippers in this house and I can't find one of them. I know the scenereo: I'm going to look for days and give up and buy a new set for 99 cents at a local convenience store and I'll soon find all the other sets. That's how they build up in the house.

I found out tonight where those bagpipes are coming from. All along it was the lesbian next door.

The biggest problem I have with going out for drinks is that money just gets tossed away on things you don't keep (so long as you don't count cirrhosis).

Worcester is so filthy, it makes me long for Lowell.

People need to give their neighbors courtesy on the weekends and refrain from doing loud things until after 12 noon. Saturday I was awoken at 8 by lawn mowing, Sunday somebody was banging something around 7am, and last night, the same neighbor's car alarm went off at 3:30am. Somebody doesn't want me to sleep.


I can't be the only person who thinks there's a conspiracy against themselves. Strong Bad won't answer my emails, VH1 Classic won't play my requests, Dan Savage ignores me and Will Pym as well. At least I answer most of the letters that come in, except the spam of course.

I don't know what happened to my cooking abilities. I used to be able to cook eggs and omlettes with ease but now I seem to be burning everything.

The dream I had this morning reminded me of previous dreams where I'm finding really cool, really rare records in rather normal shops. It's too bad these are only dreams.

I can't believe how fat kids have become. I spent the day on the beach today and it's really gross how so many kids are just so fat these days. It's no longer the unusual fat kid in the class, it has become the norm.

Arlington Cable called today and said they loved The Eye! Not only do they want to show it four times a week, but they said places like Watertown want it too and I should send it around to the other channels. It's too bad I don't have time to sit and dub tapes every week.

So, are people who drive the Mini considered Mini Drivers? Do you think Minnie Driver is a Mini Driver?

I've got strep today and my doctor told me I should have about 3 yogurts a day while I'm on antibiotics that are killing the bacterias in my body. So I went to get some at the grocery store and I was just entering the regular checkout lane when an express lane clerk flagged me in. I tried to tell her I've got way more than 10 items, but she didn't care. I think the 30 yogurts in the cart took up so little space, there was no way of knowing. So I unloaded 30 yogurts and a line formed in the express lane. I got some giggles and a comment from the guy behind me "I hope you like yogurt."

Saw Lou Reed last night, Antony's vocalization of "Candy Says" was breathtaking. I think I woke up in heaven this morning.

The dream this morning/last night was bizarre. I was in the bathtub (taking a bath obviously) and the cat jumped in. I'm like "get out!," and hair went everywhere. I ended up with hair in my mouth and was spitting it out. But then I spit out a caterpillar or two and got really grossed out. Reaching into my mouth, I grabbed some hairs and pulled out hairs that had sort of been almost completely digested - hairs that were about 4 feet long. After pulling hairs out, I grabbed onto some wires and started pulling wires out my mouth which also stretched far into my belly.

Montreal is quaint. It's like being in a different country.

Today as I work on The Brain, the pest decided to come and hang out while I work.

Last night in NY I met the floor.

There's certain places on your body you don't discuss with co-workers. Like, you can come in saying "my shoulder is sore from pulling a muscle," but you can't say "I hurt my sack on the bikeride this morning," no matter how much pain you're in.

Not as if the Mini is irritating enough, I saw a fat old dude with long hair driving one with a vanity plate of 'HTML' today.

It's gorgeous today. So nice, that Natalie Portman was out with her little dog at HMV's closing sale on her cell phone.

David Duke went to prison! I guess there is a little bit of justice left in this world.

The most frightening words I think I've heard in a long time are "Hosted by Monica Lewinsky."

The other day I was flipping through channels and on a news program was a story on how box office revenues are way down. I can't believe that Hollywood commentators are surprised that the latest Vin Diesel action drama "A Man Apart" made a disappointing 11 million (25 million -LESS- that its costs!). Nobody thought to comment that it might just simply blow.

Having a secret crush sucks. It feels like it won't go away until something's said, but when it's said then all friendship is ruined and everything's uncomfortable. What sucks even more is when the other person is not only a good friend but completely and absolutely utterly taken. I guess like with any addiction, all cravings eventually subside, but this crush hasn't for years.

I was in midtown Manhattan for a dream of mine this morning and the Big Apple Circus was in town. However, it wasn't the circus but a big amusement park, completely larger than life. The ferris wheel was taller than every building and other rides stretched for numerous blocks all fading into the skyline. It was incredible but frightening at the same time.

You know those TV commercials that have automobile drivers driving like maniacs on tiny roads, snow drifts or tall mountains? Those little warnings that say "professional driver - don't try this" are way too small. I'm convinced that everybody drives like an ass these days because of oversized SUVs, caffeine and those goddamned commercials.


Over the years of doing college radio, working in record stores and doing web sites for bands and labels, I think I can finally say with certainty that the bulk of music buyers, fans and listeners are really unadventurous with seeking out new bands and artists. It's frustrating sometimes as no matter what I do people will reluctantly pick up on something awesome until they get fed it through a more mainstream channel. Also frustrating is when people easily complain that "there's nothing good out" but don't ever take the time to take advantage of all the resources around them like college radio, magazines, and web sites. People get into the less mainstream bands almost always by a common gateway drug: a band who's popular in the mainstream with loads of exposure who might make a good effort to publicize friends and influences. These bands might not be all that original or critically acclaimed, but they found a way to make fluffy pop music digetstible enough to get mainstream markets to play it, but maintain a relatively interesting enough edge to get some pop listeners to think a different way. For example, a number of people I've known became fans of the Legendary Pink Dots and Throbbing Gristle through Skinny Puppy; Coil, Einsturzende Neubauten, The The, and Meat Beat Manifesto through Nine Inch Nails; and Godspeed You Black Emperor and Sigur Ros through Radiohead.

If anything, this war will generate some entertaining wrestler names. I can just imagine Chemical Ali dropkicking The Rock.

I can't believe I still have Kwanzaa stamps in my wallet.

Kansas must really suck if Kansas City would rather be in Missouri.

Midi came home today. He looks much different in the urn.

Watching hockey tonight I was reminded about how I fantasize about seeing figure skaters play hockey. Wouldn't it be cool to see somebody do a pirouette after they make a goal? Do a double axis spin before shooting a puck?

In response to the old question, "Does a bear shit in the woods?," the answer is "Not if it's a polar bear."

I've noticed that quite a number of snotty rich twits refer to their mom as "Mother." Not as in "my mother," or "my mom," or whatever, but "Mother says blah blah blah," "Mother won't have any of that," "Mother has alienated all of us,..." I just want to smack them.

My president's words honestly scare me. It scares me that he's such a hypocrite. He claims other presidents kill their own people but as governor of Texas, there were more prisoners executed than under any other governor. He claims other presidents unfairly gained power, but everybody knows the Florida results were tampered with and GWB lost the election. He claims other governments train terrorists but ours trained Bin Laden in the 1980s. While it's great that our soldiers can go "liberate" other countries from fascist dictators, who's watching over our government? Who will "liberate" us?

This morning was more "torment the cat with jon's new DV camera."

Tonight was "torment the cat with jon's new DV camera" night.

Tonight I made a dinner to write home about. It was absolutely fantastic. Garlic and olive oil sauteed shrimp and scallops tossed in a fettucini alfredo with sauteed broccoli and mushrooms on the side, all enjoyed with a Sam Adams Bavarian Wheat beer (with a lemon) and some caramel cashew ice cream to finish it off. And you know what? I -did- write home about it.

My friend Sandy accidentally came up with a new euphamism for menstruation last night that only Bostonians would get. "Riding the Red Line.!"

If Saddam is killed and there's still a bunch of knobs over there who hang posters and worship him, will they now be called Saddamites? Would following his teachings be called Saddamy? Will being inducted be called Saddamization? Somebody stop me!

I bet it's fairly easy to figure out what type of elementary/high school children people were by the music they play. Like, all those laptop Germans were probably antisocial nerds, while the Kevin Blechdoms of the world were probably more social nerds like AV club captain or something. Then there's the Britneys and Justin Timberlakes who were snotty popular kids, the Nickelbacks who were mullet-wearing metalhead losers, the Norah Jonses who were thetre crew twits, the godspeeds, who were probably punks smoking in the parking lot, and the Radioheads, who were simply rich assholes.

My "tribute song" is now available for MP3 download. See if you can find it at here.

Recorded possibly one of the worst things ever. RRR wanted an R recording but made a request for it to be noisy. Well, today's recording was so noisy I had to wear earplugs to record it. I think it came out truly horrible and would like a warning enclosed that nobody should listen to it under any circumstances. It's honestly so shrill that even at low volumes it will contribute to hearing loss.

Recorded some R stuff, bought a DV, tired, going to sleep early.

My friend Martin Finke should have an electronic project and record as Martian Funk.

TV 4's arts & entertainment reporter is such a bonehead. I recall a couple weeks ago how she was commenting on the Grammies and Nora Jones winning big. She made some remark to the effect of "she can look forward to a long and successful career,..." Obviously she forgets previous winners like Kim Carnes, Lauryn Hill, or Macy Gray like the rest of the world.

On my way home from a drop tonight, I was going fast in one of them Town Cars. Well, somebody went flying past me, and, while I was still doing about 72 in a 65 zone, they were far beyond me. Moments later, a cop in a trooper shined his light on me from the passenger's side of the car. Okay, okay, I slowed down... Thankfully he got the other bonehead in front of me and I was spared.

As I drive limos on the weekends I've been thinking lately how I'm too talented to be doing this. I'm a taltented writer, people enjoy my live shows, I'm sure I could do fine with documentaries, I'm pretty far on my screenplay, but, as I look around and talk, well, I'm not alone. Everybody else really thinks this. I'm reduced once again to averageness. Mediocrity, if you will.

Ever since I got this number I've been getting misdialed phone calls for somebody else named Jon (probably John). Today somebody called and, in a thick accent, like none of my friends and family, was "John?," I replied, "speaking,..." He goes on and says, "This is Phil something-or-other, I'm so sorry about your mother," and I'm all, "Wrong number." He checks my last name isn't what he thinks it is and the number is incorrect and apologizes and hangs up.

I gotta say this: with Midi not around, there sure is less hair all over the whole place.

I love the snow but I'm getting pretty damned sick of the cold. Like, I wouldn't mind if it snowed in April so long as the next day was 50 degrees and everything melted. Right now I'm sick of the mountains of frozen ice mixed with dirt and sludge, along with the subzero wind chills that nearly blow me off my bike.

Rain dances always work because if you dance long enough, it will rain.

I've figured out a great way to avoid being woken up early in the morning when Jessica's up and walking around in heels through the kitchen, getting ready to go to work, and that's drink heavily the night before.

Strange dream this morning ended with parts of houses and debris falling on houses from far up in the sky and nearly destroying them all around my neighborhood. Although my neighborhood this time was out in the woods or something and my house was the only one spared still at the moment I awoke.

I had a dream this morning that Midi was draped over my belly asleep. I knew he was dead but I could pet him and he was as real as ever. I think when pets die they're not watching over their owners, I think they're just resting in their favorite sleeping spot. My cat's was my belly!

You can never take too many pictures. Friends you have today you might miss tomorrow.

Always write down your weird dreams, you never know when they'll come in handy. I've just been reminded of a dream I had about two years ago driving around in a car with live ducks in a paper bag and feathers all inside the car that I wanted to blow out of the car. Thanks to the recollection, I'm going to use it in my screenplay!

Ever stumble across a name that reminds you of somebody you knew long ago? It happened to me today and I thought of a kid who I went to high school with and thought I'd do a google search on him. He was an arrogant prick but a really nice guy deep down inside, and I liked him. He was smart, which is why he ended up at Harvard, and I can't say I'm surprised to find now that he was in a high stakes dot com that went belly up! But, I would have found all this out years ago had I seen the movie because he's all over it! Hah! Kudos to him, he's a star now. Now he looks like he's making a good living in the Big Apple consulting big companies in trouble. Strange how life works.

This morning I finally entered my playlist online and it's now available here. Contact me if you want the tapes or if you want to receive playlists.


PC (on the left) was always a cat who would be beside you. She'd crawl under covers and do whatever to lay right beside you. Midi, on the other hand (on the right) would always find a way to crawl on top of my belly to lie down and nap there. It was rather obnoxious some times when I was trying to sleep, but he would often plop his paws over my arm and rest his head on my arm or shoulder. I kinda wish I knew I would only have that chance to have him fall asleep on me again. I'm sure he probably would have wanted his last moments to be somewhere warm and comforting rather than a cage in a veterinarian's hospital.


The two were insane kittens. They used to run around the apartment all night long and keep me awake. PC was most definitely the more aggressive of the two, quite often shoving Midi's face out of the food bowl so she could eat his food. How he got bigger I'll never figure out. I also couldn't figure out what happened to them before I got them but they were always skittish. The sounds of the cars outside and unfamiliar guests always made them run and hide. The night that she had to spend in the hospital getting spayed was the only night in their life they were apart from each other, up until this past week. Midi howled all night long without her. It became one of his qualities. I can see why he was called Crybaby, he sure had an impressive set of lungs. He would grab a toy mouse in his mouth and walk around at night, bellowing forth a low tone meow. Heh, Midi tones! I wish I had a recording.


I remember the summer day when I went to the animal shelter and adopted the cats. It was August of 1992 - a really beautiful sunny day, the type that makes summer worth it (not too hot, with a cool breeze that makes me fall in love with Boston every time). Westland Ave was full of rats and roaches and I figured cats would be good mousers and capturers! Anyhow, at the MSPCA, I passed a cage of adorably cute black kittens and a number of other really good looking dogs and cats before I arrived on their cage. There were three in there but I only wanted two. They were the most awkward, gawky looking beasts in the entire place, which is probably why I was so fond of them. They were double-pawed, which could bring luck or something I heard somewhere. His original name was most certainly Crybaby (it was written on the cage), her original name was something really gay like Princess. That had to be changed. Midi and PC they became. I didn't even consider myself a computer person back then either! They are odd names I realize, but, how many other cats have those names, right? They sound good too. (Go on, say their names out loud.)

Midi died this morning.

Midi's still pretty comatose today. Barely moving around, looking like a zombie, not eating, not drinking. I have to wait until Thursday for an ultrasound. Blood tests came back without sign of leukemia or organ failure, so we'll see what's next. Poor kid. He's just not completely himself and he looks like he's just in pain to move. In the meantime, I brought PC in for a checkup and she's doing okay, except she is a feisty little bitch to bring in. Didn't help there were big fluffy curious doggies in the waiting room! I think my leg will recover from the claw marks from PC. I bought them prescription weight control food and they basically haven't wanted anything to do with it. They'll learn to eat it. They'd better.

02.03.03 (pm)
Midi was puking this morning and in a daze. It happens some times but he was still in a daze when I got home from work. I took him to the vet. No idea what it is at this point. They gave him more tests than I ever had done! He got an EKG, XRay, shots, blood analysis, and has a heart murmur. It might be related to the vomiting - like if his heart beats erratically, makes him nauseous, he pukes and passes out,... No answers at this point yet. My dad complained about 18 years ago when my cat's surgery was $150 for getting a pin put in his leg after being hit by a car. Tonight's visit was about $350, not including the ultrasound that'll be done on Thursday.

While I was out: it snowed. It's sunny and warm today, and after driving nearly 2500 miles this past weekend, it's nice to bike into work. However, the mud truly sucks.

In all my experience of biking in the cold, I think last night's home-bound journey was the first time I actually was afraid that I could have easily come close to getting frost bite on my schween.

I want to say something to the guy who didn't yield to me at the rotary and the other guy who ran the red light: you're welcome for not smashing your car. I could have, and it wouldn't have been my fault, either. Next time you might not be as blessed to have somebody who is as courteous as me driving near you.

I was probably one of the first people in the USA to review, rant, and rave about Sigur Ros about three years ago, months before the Fat-Cat album release, over a year before the statewide release. Yes, I was enthusiastic about their follow-up album, released in November, but I think the surrounding hype sort of distanced me from the album. Now, months after its release, I'm finally coming to terms with it. Leaving track titles and the album title blank, it's really an aural Rorsharch test, a mirror, holding up our own interpretations to ourselves. My interpretation arrived this week and it's become a very, very sad album. It's still not in my top 10 of last year, but if you want to know my own personal interpretation, you'll have to ask me.

I've never wanted to be famous. Honestly. When I see people scrambling for fame on reality TV shows or American Idol, it's rather nauseating. Do these people have any clue as to what fame really means? You know - a small time in the spotlight but before long they're out of a job with no marketable skills at all and all the money's gone. Where the hell is Jenny McCarthy these days? Anyhow, I must make a deep, dark confession, and I realize this after years and years of time away and now being reunited with shows like Match Game and the Gong Show,... I always wanted to be a celebrity panelist on a dumb game show.

-34 at the top of Mount Washington today with wind gusts of 132 MPH. That's not New England. That's Antarctica.

Tonight was another night of a gig without drinking. This time I knew mostly everybody I saw. However, I felt that without drinking I really had no desire to talk to anybody. I felt almost like a jerk, how I didn't really care about anybody, but the weird thing is that I didn't have a problem with it. Nearly everybody there was a "gig friend," ie: people who I never hang out with outside of gigs. I tried to leave without saying goodbye but was stopped by a couple people. I didn't want to face the "leaving already?" questions because I could have forced myself to stay even though I have to be on the radio at 7am, I just really didn't care to be there.

I haven't been away at all last year. I'm long overdue for some away time.

Justin Timberlake is on the cover of 'Vibe' magazine. Isn't that one of the sings of the oncoming apocalypse?

I think I may have heard the most gay song ever recorded on the radio today. To hear for yourself, try and seek out "Love Injection" by Trussel. You'll come close to peeing your pants laughing.

It's 2:45 AM and I just got in from driving a stretch limo tonight. Those things handle like a submarine and driving them on I-95 and the Mass Pike in unplowed snow is an adventure I don't want to partake in again.

All the empty seats on the bus and this gross slob sat next to me. Even worse, she had gas that smelled so bad it was like she crapped her pants or something. I really hate public transportation.

I had a dream I was hanging out with Hugh Heffner at the Playboy ranch. I went upstairs to the office and his wife was sitting behind the desk and eager to make me a check to get me out of debt. I'm like "that's nice, but do you really want to do this?" and she was like "It's Heff's money, you know how much he has?"

For this morning's radio show I decided to do a special program. While every other DJ has been playing their "faves of 2002" this past week, I decided to play my "faves of 1997."

It was such a sunny day that I decided to take a bikeride. Well, the temperature didn't get far above the freezing point, little to my knowledge, and the bike trail hasn't been plowed or shoveled. The novelty of bicycling on snow wears thin after less than 30 seconds. So I rode up Mass Ave, saw kids and adult kids sledding along the way, circled around Lexington Center, stopped and had lunch at a fantastic Greek restaurant on my way home.

While I do think it's somewhat disappointing that an existing millionaire won millions in Powerball, I think it should be a good lesson to those who are poorer not to gamble their money away. If you need money really bad, you shouldn't be throwing it away on your chances at the lottery. The odds are higher that you'll fall out of bed and die than win the powerball. Furthermore, if there is a higher being, he/she/it probably doesn't have time to sit there and choose the winners of these things.

After playing with someone at the beginning of their natural life and spending the day with someone nearing the end of their natural life, it was noticable how each mirrored the other. A baby is allegedly born colorblind, but the eyesight develops, along with speech, memory, and motor skills. They begin to walk and go to the bathroom on their own, their figure becomes more defined and less androgenous. At the end, these things all fall off, one by one. While it's "tragic" to lose your life by an illness or an accident, I somehow would prefer not to sit by and watch all of these abilities subside one by one.

Some people will never know exactly how you feel about them.
I never thought playing with a two-year-old would be so fun, but since I drove everybody to the party last night, I kept away from the alcohol and was entertained by an amazingly well-mannered two-year-old who loved being tossed around, held upside-down and being read to.

A briefcase full of unmarked bills in large denominations didn't show up at my doorstep again this year.

Star Wars could never be made in this day and age. The "Rebel Alliance" would be considered a terrorist organization.

God I'm bored. Anybody else in town during this holiday break?

Confessional time: I actually watched eight of the last ten minutes of "Feds" today. In my defense, there was nothing else on.

The shirts are done. I can't remember who wanted a shirt but the images are here: front and back. If you want one, contact me.

Made some chili today in my slow cooker. Wow. I feel domestic.

What a cool party tonight. The goal was to make a mix CD and give it away to somebody who draws yours by chance. My concept was to come up with songs in numeric order. I thought I could do it on one disc but ended up coming up with 40, nearly all from my collection. I had to split it up into two CDs. Here's my final tracklisting:

  1. One Love - Stone Roses
  2. Two-Step - Low
  3. (3 is) The Magic Number - de la Soul
  4. Four Seasons in One Day - Crowded House
  5. Five Years - David Bowie
  6. 6am Morningside - The Clientele
  7. Seven Months - Portishead
  8. Eight Days a Week - The Beatles
  9. Lucky Number Nine - Moldy Peaches
  10. Ten Little Girls - Curve
  11. Rotary Eleven - R.E.M.
  12. The Twelve Steps - Spiritualized
  13. V.13 - Big Audio Dynamite
  14. Fourteen Black Paintings - Peter Gabriel
  15. Fifteen Feet of Pure White Snow - Nick Cave
  16. Rooms of the Sixteen Shimmers - Undark
  17. 17 Days - Prince
  18. Atico 18 - Mark Eitzel
  19. Nineteen Forever - Joe Jackson
  20. 20 Jazz Funk Greats - Throbbing Gristle
  21. #21 - Dat Politics
  22. $22.95 - Solex
  23. 23 Minutes in Brussels - Luna
  24. Twenty-Four Hours - Joy Division
  25. 25 or 6 to 4 - Chicago
  26. OLV 26 - Stereolab
  27. 27 - Mu-Ziq
  28. Premonition 28 - Legendary Pink Dots
  29. 29 - Tor Lundvall
  30. Thirty Miles - Cowboy Junkies
  31. Magical Colors (31 Flavors) - Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
  32. The Ballad Of 32 - Frankie Goes to Hollywood
  33. Thirty-Three - Smashing Pumpkins
  34. Complex 34 - Man or Astroman?
  35. 35,000 Feet of Despair - Flaming Lips
  36. Ethnological Forgery Series No. 36 - Can
  37. 37 Hours - Kristin Hersh
  38. 38 - Revolting Cocks
  39. 18-39 - Serge Gainsbourg
  40. 40 Days - Lali Puna
I am a geek aren't I? I think I need to be dating another music geek.

The Village Voice asked me to contribute to their year-end poll for 2002. Does this mean I -am- somebody now?? Maybe not, as they asked 1,299 others. Anyhow, if you're interested to see how I responded, click here.

I want to have a Xmas tree entirely decorated with little figurines of choirboys and girls and other religious characters hanging in nooses.

Today I was eating a noodle soup at the Vietnamese place for lunch. I was alone so inadvertently, I could hear other people's stupid conversations. Well, this girl next to me was talking about how she was reminded of a Muppet sketch that had a song in it, "I am the very model of a modern major general,..." and she was trying to explain it to her boyfriend. She actually said, "one of these days I'll be able to track down that Muppet song." I wanted to turn to her and say, "IT'S FROM THE PIRATES OF PENZANCE YOU TWIT," but I kept my mouth shut and will just let her go home and listen to her f'ing Coldplay albums.

Everybody knew the store manager of the place I worked at years ago a coke fiend, an adulturer, and a complete idiot. However, his idea to combat bathroom wall graffiti was ingenious: he put up a pad of paper on the wall and a pen.

There aren't enough web sites devoted to Wayland Flowers and Madame.

Last night my friend Linda told us all that she had the Tubes' manager as a taxi cab driver out in LA. While everybody was amused, I think it would have been even more hilarious if her driver was Fee Waybil.

I really hate that guilty feeling I get whenever I take a break - like watching tv or something. I always have something I should be doing that I'm putting off.

I set an alarm to remind me to bid on an auction and it didn't sound off this time. Sonofabitch. Oh and don't call this thing a blog. I hate that word.

I hope the term "Mall Rock" spreads quickly. There's really no better way to describe System of a Down, Korn or other worthless white trash rap-rock crap.

My friend Sandy lives near the Long Funeral Home. She says that when she dies she wants a LONG FUNERAL. Hahaha.

I like going to Goth clubs because I always feel like I'm in a Billy Idol video. Seriously, think about the video for "White Wedding."

Do you think "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport" is a subliminal bondage/furry sport/fetish reference?

In the years of going to rock shows, I have never gotten into a physical fight. Last night it almost happened. Now, don't get me wrong, I expect a little ambient mumbling at a venue but I could hear this scruffy shrimpy drunk dude's conversation full voice from a large distance. So, I turned around, stepped back to him and asked if he could please be a little quieter so I can hear the band over his conversation. I turned back around and went back to trying to listen to the band but he got louder. He was like "what a dick, I can't believe this guy, blah, blah,..." I turned around again, went back to him and said "Look, I asked you once before to keep quieter. I asked nicely, I even used please, now, once again I'm asking you to keep quiet." He then started on about "I wanna smack that guy in the back of his head," and I was ready to turn around and say "go right ahead" to him but by then the sound board op was telling him to shut up or get out. He stumbled out, but I swear, any second longer and who knows what would have happened.

Today I had a small thing (1/2 cup of water add to...) instant oatmeal. Between driving jobs today I had a Cup O' Noodles. Essentially, by the time I finished work, I was hungry. So, one of my jobs tonight included a billionaire, and, lo and behold, Lee Iaccoca himself didn't tip a goddamned penny. So, a hungry person who wants drinks like myself ended up at the little Mexican place near my house where I know the entire staff. No biggie. So, here I am talking at the bar, munching a taco, talking about my night with Lee Iaccoca and some customers were listening too and I told some stories about Sum 41 and Lisa Loeb. As I was leaving, some college girls stopped me to ask what it was that I did for a living to have Lisa Loeb as a "passenger." I told her I was a pilot and her and her friends eyes lit up while the other customers and bartender were more than slightly amused. I know it doesn't sound like much, but these girls will have loads to talk about with their friends now. It reminds me of the time when I was parking cars at nights as a second job: I was on the Mass Pike late one night after work and pulled over for something to eat and the lady behind the counter quite giddily asked, "Are you a waiter?" when I pulled out a wad of one dollar bills. I just looked her in the eye and said with a serious face, "no, I'm a dancer." It shut her up, and I'm sure it made for some fodder with her friends over the next couple weeks. =) Keep people thinking and talking. It's not a bad thing, they'll never see me again.

Sex is unbelievable. On many levels, actually. For example, sometimes when you're having sex, it's really almost unbelievable. Thinking to yourself at points, "wow, I can't believe I'm having sex with somebody I really like" (given that you really like them). On another level, people don't believe anybody else about sex. If I told you I was a virgin, your gut instinct would be "yeah, right". If you told your mom you were gay, she would probably be like "oh sure, it's just a phase really," but, if somebody has it in their mind that you're either gay or a virgin, it's weird trying to convince them otherwise. Also, does anybody really believe anybody else on the number of sexual partners they say they've had? Either when we think they're inflating the numbers (a stereotypically high school thing to do) or deflating the numbers (trying to NOT appear like a slut or somebody carrying more diseases than an MBTA bus).

It was so beautiful around town with the changing leaves and all,... until the winds blew them all down and the rain made them all soggy. Now a number of the trees are bare. Autumn is never long enough.

My friend Pete said something hilarious tonight at dinner: "Harvard is the place where smart kids spend loads of money to get dumber."

This is a note to all who drive Swedish automobiles: You think your car is so damned safe but your driving stinks. Especially that guy in the blue Volvo who nearly ran me over today.

Today is one of those mornings when you wake up completely disgusted with people and politics and hope that yesterday was just a really, really bad nightmare. Our country is now completely in control of people who have probably never worked service jobs, never worried where their next meal is coming from, and have never lived without designer bathrooms. Weren't the baby boomers all about peace, progressive issues, etc,...? Now they all drive SUVs and vote Republican. Disgusting.

My boss said yesterday that these things happen in threes and to beware. He was right. As I left work, my tire was flat again.

I woke up this morning to a flat tire on my car. Called AAA, they came and replaced it with my spare. I noticed a tack lodged in the tire. And then, get this, I'm biking to work and get a flat on my $#@!ing bike. I've had that thing for eight years. I guess it was bound to happen.

Siggi Armann gave me a hug tonight. I feel so cool! Really.

Chi McBride tipped me a $20 today. I didn't even know who he was until I got home.

I can't get over the fact that one of my best friends had the audacity to order me around like I was his dog tonight. The worst thing is that he's too damned stupid to even consider the possibility that what he did was completely out of line. Friendship can't exist without trust and it's clear that he didn't trust me that I wouldn't sabotage his precious party mix. In turn, he ordered me three times while I simply questioned him. I had to leave before it got ugly. He's got the tendency to be a belligerent moron who loves a fight, especially when he's been drinking. So soon he forgets he wouldn't have his girlfriend, his job, nor other friends if it wasn't for me and that I let him stay at my house when he needed it and use my computer endlessly without issue whenever he wanted. I can't remember ever hearing the words "I'm sorry" or "thank you" coming from his mouth. Nobody orders me around.

I got a birthday gift from my friend Jim last night at the gallery show. It was the size of a CD box. I put it in my bag to open later. Today, when I finally opened it up, it was a gorgeous collection of photographs, one for each year. This is possibly one of my fave gifts ever.

So, as a web developer, people commonly make two assumptions about me. #1) I am a designer and #2) I can fix fax machines (since you're into "computer" stuff as old ladies in previous office jobs have justified). Anyhow, so, after five people separately saying to me, "you're a designer, why don't you design a new tee shirt for WZBC," I finally gave up on telling people that I'm a developer, not a graphic designer and said "FINE," and did a stupid shirt design as a complete joke. I found out on Tuesday morning, during the pledge drive, that they're actually now printing them up. Buffoons. FRONT | BACK

I don't know why but today I'm reminded of a lady who was a temp at a job where I used to work. There was a week where people started missing their lunches from the refrigerator at work and nobody was coming forward saying it was them howas taking things mistakenly. I'll never forget this weird lady who was eating yogurt one day and turned to me and said, "oh I don't like strawberries" while eating a strawberry yogurt. She followed that commment by, "I honestly don't know why I get this kind."

Today's morning bikeride was filled with dreams of winning the lottery and what I would do with that money. Aside from clearing debt, I'd buy a house, buy that video gear I always dream of and continue on with the record label dreams of mine. It's okay to dream still.

I can't believe the jerk I drove today. I picked him up at the super-rich place where private jets come in and watched as he tipped the baggage handler a $20 and the hotel doorman a $20. I got nothing as his driver. Dick.

I stopped on VH1 Classics again recently and was fixated on the video for Chicago's "You're the Inspiration." Not because I like cheesy adult-contemporary crap, but Peter Cetera, who subsequently quit the band to become a born-again Christian and record music with Amy Grant, was wearing a Bauhaus tee shirt. The video was made in 1984.

Somebody told me that I sold Marianne Nowottny a copy of 'Brain in The Wire' this weekend! Cool...

I'm seriously going to start a campaign to force concert-goers to LEAVE THEIR BACKPACKS AT HOME. It's really getting out of hand in epic proportions. Tonight I had to step over numerous backpacks at a show which was close-to (or at) capacity. What are these people bringing their homework for? There's no need for it. Do they need to install cubbies at the Middle East?

I know I made somebody's home-bound commute slightly more entertaining by making faces at them in the bus as I passed them on my bike, standing up on the pedals, eye-to-eye with them.

There's nothing like a cheesy slice of post-9/11 patriotism in the form of a take-out pizza box with "God Bless America" on the lid.

Today's thought: the myth of Happiness. They say that happiness comes from within - ie: we are in charge of our own happiness, right? However, I've observed that things completely out of my own control sure as hell add to my frustration.

Having a messed-up sleep schedule means afternoon naps and absolutely silly, yet thoroughly exciting dreams. Today I had one of visitng an old residence and dropping off something to the new residents and of course they were weird. There was a kid, a mess, a smell, and I never saw the adults. Allegedly the fater was victim of some surgery gone awry - and he was a doctor too - but the kid was the only person who was ever downstairs and walking around the house. The second one was really entertaining however: I was at some random Asian food restaurant - could have been Thai - and some Mongolian-looking dude (I think I was reading an article in The Wire about Acid Mothers Temple or Boredoms or something) walked in. He saw another similar-looking and dressed dude standing behind the counter and instead of either ordering in English or speaking in some common tongue to make an order, he started throat singing. The tune got intense, punchy, bouncy and fun and the guy behind the counter started making the food - exactly what he wanted! Brilliant.

You know when you have to get up early and go to bed later than you wish but really -need- that sleep? You always end up waking up a little early, looking at the clock and thinking "no, not yet" and trying to catch a few more minutes of sleep. I must have done that about 10 times between 1 and 2am.

A perfectly insultingly approrpriate end of a vicious week - having to be at work at 3am Saturday morning.

Played a show in historic Lowell tonight. Quite a small crowd. Nobody bought a thing however.

Played in Providence tonight, quite a responsive crowd. Very generous too.

T. Raumschmiere isn't just a techno noise pirate, he's a rock superstar.

Sometimes days just have both their extreme highs and extreme lows. Fortunately, there's always something to look forward to. It's funny how things happened quite similarly the first time I met Colin Newman when he rolled through town!

Looks like the tongue piercing hole has finally closed up.

I hope I'm not the only one who finds it utterly revolting and disgutsting that recovering coke fiend, recovering alcoholic and daughter of psycho, Liza Minnelli gets to adopt a child after less than a month of marriage to her gay husband while there are thousands of upstanding, respectable and deserving couples who have been on waiting lists for years for children to adopt.

I'm really sick of the fanfare and I truly hate bagpipes.

The news media tells us it's been almost a year since 9/11 but they lie. 9/11 hasn't ended. It's been mentioned in every newscast and every publication since. It is very much still going on.

I have such little respect for humanity. Dateline NBC has a way of doing that.

I drove John Major today in the limo. I felt like asking him about the Euro but I just did my job and kept my mouth shut. I'm sure it's better that way. Besides, I would have probably ended up saying something to the effect of "you'll be driving on the other side of the street before you use a currency without your precious queen on it."

One of those days where everything seems a little bit "off." My bike wasn't shifting gears properly, my glasses were crooked and I was really hurt by my ragweed allergies.

I thought about half way through my bike ride to Brookline this morning that I was really stupid. But, actually, I made it in only 30 minutes, shaving a large portion of the T ride.

"Have you seen my Dong?" - the father, Sixteen Candles.

I received the strangest tip tonight. A fozen salmon fillet from Alaska. "When words don't express how you truly feel, say it with fish."

I swear I'm going to go to McDonalds and grab a bunch of employment applications and start handing them out to all the able-bodied kids out there asking for money in Harvard Square.

In my retail days I once had a customer at my register whose name as it appeared on his American Express card was Hung So Lo.

The heat bugs are buzzing today and it's not all that hot outside...

I have experienced hell and it's driving four drunk women to and from a Kid Rock/Aerosmith show while hearing the techno cover of Bryan Adams' "Heaven" five times in the cours of the night.

Brilliant Rick Webb quote from last night: "Mods are like potted plants. I don't need to actually talk to them but it's kinda pleasant they're there." Of course that could have easily been topped by Hope Sanduval reacting to somebody shouting "I Love You" in the audience by "I don't need you to love me, I need you to shut the fuck up."

In the words of my old friend Brian, "An alcoholic is a part of a 10-step program. I'm just a drunk."

I honestly have no idea how so many people drive in this city. I swear Boston's probably got the worst road management crew ever. Whenever it rains at night all the lines in the road magically disappear and due to so much construction, numerous blinding lights in every drivers faces make it hard to distinguish when pedestrians are right in front of you, about to be hit.

I used to go to this burrito place somewhat near my house. One night I was in the mood for a burrito so I went down there and walked right in and the entire place had changed. The displays were filled with bread things and it just wasn't the burrito place any more. The guy behind the counter looked at my confused face and said "May I help you?" And I was like "I wanted a burrito." He replied with "Oh, I took over this space because I want to sell pastries." I replied with "oh," and started walking out of the door. He asked "Would you like a pastry?" I didn't answer and just left. Less than two months later that place was gone. It's now a Chinese place or something. Jerk.

Coming up from the T station I saw some punks with a sign saying "please give money for food" or something like that. They were both clean, well-groomed, showered and tattooed. Their sign should have said "we don't want to work so give us money" or "need money for more drugs and a new tat, man". Where's the truth in advertising?

I hate commerical radio jocks and club DJs. They all think they're such hot shit but each and every one of them can easily be replaced by any of the hundreds lining up for their jobs. In addition, none of them have any real skills that would render them useful once they get fired. I remember when I was about 19, working at a record store and somebody called me up looking for who did what song and he kept saying his DJ name over and over again like I was supposed to know who he was. I didn't know and frankly didn't care. Especially for his arrogant attitude.

Am I the only one disturbed by the number of mobile phones in use on the streets? Are people that obsessed with being elsewhere that they need to yap on the goddamned phone while driving, grocery shopping, crossing the streets, or out to dinner? I find it really irritating. It's almost as if they're saying "nothing matters to me as I step out into traffic" or "I don't care if I'm out at dinner with you, I'll answer the phone and talk to my other friends."

The effects of the heat wave and drought this year are depressing. I went for a bike ride today and ventured to a place where I like to lie in the grass and listen to music but the grass is all brown and dying.

Hard to believe it got to over 100 today in Boston while places like New Orleans are in the high 80s.

I had a sandwich from Cardullo's for lunch today which included something I'm not familiar with. I could have sworn the menu said "tapend" or "tapped" or something similar so I curiously went onto just now to try to find out what it was I ate. The only thing I came up with was "tappen" which means two things: 1. An obstruction, or indigestible mass, found in the intestine of bears and other animals during hibernation and 2. a 3.3 square mile town in North Dakota with 239 residents according to the 1990 census. I certainly hope I didn't eat one of those things.

Somebody asked what would I want to do tonight. My answer was to lie back on an inflatable raft in a pool while watching the meteor shower that's supposed to take place after midnight. Reality dictates that I'm actually stuck in my house, far away from any such oasis, completely exhausted from the day of radio, work and teaching.

It's late. After biking and sweating in this horrible day-long heat I've made a remarkable discovery: my deoderant is still working and I don't smell like a festering dead rodent.

I wish I could wake up and spend all day in the water.

Booking events/shows is so amazingly stressful. Especially when it seems like the people who work at the clubs are completely clueless in terms of music and work next to zero hours per week. Top that off with the fact they never get back to you and don't answer email and I'm completely unsurprised clubs lose money, have terrible shows most of the time and go out of business frequently.

I passed a sign for "Final Fantasy 9" today at the Japanese Anime/game store place and it just added to my theories of the Japanese understanding of English. Does it matter to them that there's been sequels to something that was supposed to be "Final" to begin with?

I chose "first class" when sending a package at the post office. Maybe my package will be able to sit in the nice section and get more than just a bag of pretzels.

I'm sad to find out the beach we were at in Maine was closed down due to sharks last night. I wish they came to say hi while we were there instead of waiting until late in the evening...

Cheap liquor at the New Hampshire border on the way to/from Maine rules.

4am and my back hurts. Is my body just falling apart or something?

If I knew my teeth would turn out looking this crappy I wouldn't have had bridge work done.

Sleeping with a mask on has got to be one of the most uncomfortable things.

Whiny businessmen suck. I rerouted my trip to take this rich bastard to the goddamed Mercedes dealership because, as he was crying to his dealer "I wanna see my car!!!" Unfortunately that made me late for dinner and another goddamned overnight sleep study. The fucker didn't tip to top it off. Businessmen and rock stars never tip, probably because they've never worked their lillywhite ass in either the service industry or any laborious job.

It's funny how you think you can spend a day relaxing and just end up running all over the place.

Took the bike out all day. Went downtown to get some new white shirts, went to the Cambridgeside Galleria and hassled the Mac store people, then went to the esplanade and watched the gorgeous sites rollerblade, bike, run, and walk by.

I don't think I'll ever understand joggers at 11:30pm on a Friday night.

As fate would have it, I ended up sitting next to some orgasmic old ladies at the Japanese buffet today. You know the type. As I brought my food to the table I could see them out of the corner of my eye staring at my plate, loudly going "mmmmMMMMMMMmmmmmmmm." As they went to the buffet and brought their food back, they each let out a loud "ohhhhhhhhhhhhh," and "aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh" as they set down. The worst, however, had to be listening to their conversation. I hate to eat in a hurry but I just -had- to get out of there.

More aggrivating than a lie is silence, when people are obliged to give answers and give nothing. The depths of my sheer frustration over the last week is immeasurable.

One of those days when all technology is ganging up on me.

You know it's summertime at Harvard when swarms of Asians are taking pictures at every object.

Sure-fire way to never have anything stolen out of your car: leave the door wide open!

Until last night, I had never seen a Kenneth Anger film. Now Death in June and Non make sense.

I guess I should explain yesterday's entry. I was talking about sleep apnea with a friend and I was just accepting that fact that I could die any time and this friend told me that I had been pretty important in their life over the last few years. I just thought (and asked), "how was I supposed to know this if nothing was said?" Basically my advice to anybody reading this drivel is to take the time to tell people who you look up to, are inspired by, or just care about how you feel before they're dead. I see tv shows where people are like "my grandmother is now watching over me," or some other bullshit, and I just think that if there's an afterlife, I'm gonna be too busy having fun.

Why wait for me to be dead to be your angel?

I have sleep apnea. I also have the new Low CD. Guess which one I'm more excited about?

The worst imaginable duets would include: accordion vs. bagpipes, sax vs. bagpipes, anything vs. bagpipes, or viola vs. viola.

Sometimes the simplest thing brightens the day, like a friendly other DJ stopping by to say "hi" and introduce themselves to me during this morning's radio show.

If there is a silver lining to the cloud of failed investor markets and corrupt corporations closing down, it's that hopefully this adds to the impending death of the Republican Party. I can't wait until more is released on Bush's shady insider trading and Cheney's illegal dealings when they were heads of corporations. They already lost one election, what's going to make them win the next?

Woke up this morning to a frighteningly artificially-colored lemon custard sky. As the day rolled in the sky became more grey and heavy. Come to find out, forest fires in Quebec have scattered smoke throughout the skies of New England. The skies were free of water clouds but thick with smoke, leaving the sun a big beach-ball orange circle in the sky. I certainly hope this isn't indicative of the skies of the future.

Thankfully I only ever itch and peel from a sunburn.

I think I realize the answer to the question posed on June 29th: This month's issue features 'the Women of Enron'! Creepy.

Peter Cetera playing in the cafe during lunch doesn't help with digestion.

Logic question here: if everybody wants to be rich and everybody hates the rich, does everybody want to be hated?

No lie, I saw a man today driving a car with one of them gay pride rainbow stickers on the rear bumper flipping through a Playboy magazine while at a stoplight.

The minute those flight attendants leave the terminal, those porcelain smiles are completely gonzo. Forget the friendliness too. I could have sworn I was watching a ZZ Top video unfold before my eyes once when a van pulled up and I saw legs first and then three flight attendants emerge. I smile to each and every one of them and none has smiled back even once.

Caught in an impressive storm today down at the airport. Along with the hail, a downpour of rain and intense winds was a light show which had a lightning bolt every 2-3 seconds. Every third strike was so close there was no delay with light and sound. I love nature's glory.

One of those mornings when you just wake up and think "Wow, did I really see Simple Minds in concert last night?"

Regardless of which side you stand on abortion, holding huge bloody fetus pictures on street corners is a vulgar and revolting act. I seriously want to round up a ton of bikers and arm ourselves with paint guns and splatter their signs. We can make shirts for ourselves that say "the moral majority". Now that's irony.

On top of the gorgeous day, paycheck received, two on the way, and finally a visit with a sleep specialist, I've got a free wrap for lunch to look forward to! Life is good.

"Whenever I need money I punch a hooker," said my friend Gary. "Just like in that video game Grand Theft Auto."

I always find it kind of funny that as the days start to get shorter, the temperature is still getting warmer. I'm sure there's a logical explaination for it but I still find it an interesting meteorological anomaly.

You'll never forget meeting that famous person, that's their job (to forget).

I really do enjoy dressing up for work. I enjoy undressing even more, however.

Sometimes I feel I should be showering when I get home from a rock and roll club. This way my pillow and bedsheets also don't smell like a goddamned ashtray. The problem remains, however, that I'll wake up with bedhead.

I wish that dreadful female singer with the armpit hair and acoustic guitar in Harvard Square would just stick a sock in it.

It's father's day and I didn't have a chance to send a card or call. I think every father secretly thinks in their mind they didn't do the best job they could but they don't realize that there's almost nobody in the world who is 100% satisfied with their childhood! Hey, I turned out okay, so if you're reading, dad, you did do a good job!

Those button-up blue shirts with white collars and cuffs are so incredibly tacky.

I know I'll probably get in trouble with sharing this thought one day, but tonight I had a rather typical conversation with a major label record company employee. I've had these conversations before with a person who's lived in NY and worked in the same job at various labels for the past 16 years. This person will remain unnamed in addition to his label, but I always get this sense when they talk to me as if they're really proud of what they do and they're rather taken aback that I'm a big music fan too but don't want to work for a major and be a cog in the machine, as if hob-knobbing and rubbing elbows with celebs is a life anybody would want to live. The fact that all the time, the attitude was rather smug, looking down his nose upon me as if to say he's the important person in this world was all too typical of these types when interacting personally with me. The fact of the matter is that he's completely dispensable, replacable, and nobody would notice. Not the recording artist stars nor the higher-up execs. At the end of the day, I'm proud that I've been personally helpful for a lot of my fave bands and labels. I'm irreplacable. On top of that, I'm distanced enough from the lifestyle which would make me feel like I was in the film "Metropolis," marching away under orders.

"If you lower your expectations on every single person on this goddamned planet, the who world ain't such a bad place after all." - Jeremy LaBrosse

Somebody asked me on the T ride home last night "If you could do anything, what would it be?" My response was that it was a dumb question because everything I want to do, I have set the goals and am taking the steps to achieve it. Anybody can do anything they want (within the laws of nature of course) so long as they push themselves to find out how they can do it and don't give up. I think I'm just surprised at how many people don't feel this way and think their goals are unattainable.

There's no getting around how much I hate public transportation. There'd better be a real bang-up thunderstorm today to give me a real reason why I shouldn't have biked in.

I think I had that recurring dream about having a kid again, but this time it wasn't my own kid, it was a little brother. Maybe that's what all this is supposed to mean - just my own lifelong desire to have a sibling: somebody to look up to/look up to me, pal around with, and be somebody -ELSE'S- responsibility at the end of the day!

I am contractually bound not to reveal who some of my limo company's clients are. I will say this, however. Last night I picked up a multi-platinum rock band from the airport and drove them to their hotel. The difference between driving around multi-platinum kids and Fridge is the fact that the multi-platinum kids have everybody wiping their ass for them, in turn, thinking about a whole lot less. Man were they stupid. One of the funniest things was that they were bitching how there were acts after them at a multi-band festival taking place today, ie: those bands more popular than them. I felt like saying, "you guys are _so_ last year" but stayed professional and kept my mouth shut.

Day two: two businessmen coming home from business trips in California. Late night, long drives, no tips. Can't win 'em all I guess. Tomorrow night I have my first "As directed". It's where I have a pick-up point and some places to go but they tell me where to go and I go there.

First day as a chauffeur and it's raining. Had to buy a raincoat and I can't find my fucking umbrella damnit! Had two customers today. One didn't show up. I'd better have gotten paid at least...

As I sit here at work I can hear a commencement speaker outside here at Harvard and boy is this guy terrible. I actually heard him say "and as you enter the real world". Ugh. How cliche. A commencement speech to MBAs, however, would never include such a phrase. Not because of its overuse but because in my experience, Harvard MBAs live in their own world, far removed from reality.

Record collectors/music enthusiasts are a unique type of person. Due to their spending habits, it's unsurprising many of them don't always wear the latest or most expensive clothing trends nor do they conform to any one general rule of fashion sensibility. Actually it's probably not so different to drug, alcohol, or gambling addicts now that I think of it...

I took Latin for four years and have a pretty good understanding where a lot of words, especially medical terms and body parts come from. The one body part that baffles me on the origins is the "Fallopian Tubes". Were they named after Monsieur Fallope?

After a week of new job training while battling tonsilitis and bronchitis in misery, I'm basically spent. Tonight my performance really ended the week on a great note. I don't think I've ever liked my stuff that much or received as much praise as I did tonight. Somebody even compared the progression to a Tarnovsky film. I'm so flattered.

Listening to some talk radio in the car tonight, some caller on some show was like "how dare you compare the Catholic Church to the Mafia." And he went on to say that if anybody hurts a defenseless woman or child in the mafia, they're gone. The Mafia protects those who can't fend for themselves.

I tried to resist becoming a Christoph Heemann addict for so long. I have lost the battle now. Damnit!

I found out today I'm not the only one who thinks all Audi drivers are assholes. Volvo drivers easily come in second.

Without a doubt I seem to always get sick when I'm starting a new job or a new relationship. One of the more fascinating things I learned today on my new job is that there's a digital video camera recording out the front of the window of these limos at all times. As soon as there's an abrupt change in g-forces, the camera saves everything from ten seconds back! This way all accidents viewable from the front are caught! Coool!!!

Training starts tomorrow morning for my 3rd (4th?) source of income. And I still can't get a goddamned loan to consolidate my debts.

The most vivid memories I have left of this Memorial Day Weekend are playing with a cute pit-bull named Divine and the Pia Zadora True Hollywood Story. Pretty uninspiring weekend to say the least.

Two days in Maine without the pilot working in the trailer means the closest I've come to a shower over the last couple days was a wet nap after the lobster.

The reason why I hate Bob Marley's "Legend" album so much is that for the last 20 years, it has been every college student's justification to their statement "oh, I listen to reggae."

I never thought in a million years I'd see my mom and dad dancing.

I hate the fact that if you show up on time to a dentist or eye doctor's appointment, you always end up waiting at least 15 minutes, but if you arrive 11 minutes late, they force you to reschedule a month later. It's aggrivating. When I show up on time for the next time I'm going to make damned sure the doctor doesn't bring me in at 9:41 instead of 9:30 as scheduled.

Malibu rum tastes like drinking suntan lotion.

Every email list has its own Ralphie.

On the way to work I passed a biker who was holding a coffee cup with one hand while biking. What a stupid idiot. Not only is hot coffee probably really bad while you're biking but she was endangering herself and the rest of the traffic by not having two hands on the wheel down Mass Ave.

Good weather should not be any excuse to blast terrible music. I'm stuck at work while somebody's blaring "Karma Chameleon" outside somewhere. I've always hated Culture Club. If I hear "Walking On Sunshine" somebody will get hurt, violently.

Of course Spider-man broke new records at the box offices this weekend. It's the same reason why films keep breaking these records over and over again. It's because the goddamned films cost $10 to see these days as opposed to about half that much back when E.T. was breaking box office records. Sheesh.

Sundays are reserved for regretting everything you did on Saturday night.

Car in the shop and I blow out the tire on the loaner. Nice.

Audience mentality has always kind of bugged me at large concerts. I really find it irritating when a band starts up a song, lets it go for a few bars, but as soon as the singer starts singing, a roar of applause comes in from the audience. Are these jerkoffs just not paying attention when the songs start or do they just know a few lines from the song they find good as background to the conversation they're having with their friends.

I've asked probably about 10-15 people over the last ten years to do one simple task. Plop a videotape into their VCR for one Saturday evening, hit record and send me a 6 hour tape of Robin Byrd. Now her show is impossible to find. I'm so angry. Are New Yorkers that self-important that they can't do one simple stinking task? It's not as if they have to sit there and watch it. Grrrrrr

The advantages of being a limo driver are looking pretty swank while driving an expensive vehicle around town. The disadvantages include double-parking, blocking traffic, and waiting, waiting, waiting.

I had an intensely vivid dream this morning. There was a family wedding in Anchorage, Alaska. It was desolate and snowy and my mom got into an angry tirade so I decided to leave in the middle of everything and get back home on my own. I no longer had a mobile phone so I trekked it with calls to bus companies on pay phones and I bussed through Canada all the way home seeing tons of places I've never had the chance to see. Quite exciting, actually.

Piercings are -so- high school. I've just decided to leave mine out from now on.

It never fails. Every time I head to RRR in Lowell, it rains.

Pauline Oliveros looked like she just hopped off her motorcycle tonight. Fantastic electronic musician. I'm so glad I saw this show but I've had enough of live concerts this past week to last for a while.

This week was all about seeing groups who were much better on record ten years ago than today. Monday was Neil Halstead (of Slowdive, later of Mojave 3), Tuesday was Spiritualized (which was painful), Thursday was Cranes and Friday was The Church. Had to leave the Church show early, however, as the audience was full of aged post-hipsters. Crank up the Talking Heads, man! Ugh.

Midi is 23.5 pounds, P.C. is 16 pounds. I guess you could say I've got close to 40 pounds of pussy.

l hrtrs r s l.

I just got my Harvard Staff ID today and boy do I look like a thug. If I could have one wish (today) it would be that I could photograph well.

I can't stand that Ben Folds character - the whiny white boy passive aggressive wife beater he is. All his songs sound like they're either about knocking his girlfriend up or fighting with her or taking his bastard child back. I just don't buy it, man. He didn't use a goddamned condom. I just hope he didn't give her herpes too.

I realize talking about the weather is kind of a cliche type of thing, but Boston's always exciting. For example, it's in the 60s today, it was in the 90s two days ago, and Monday's forecast calls for rain mixed with snow!

I acutally welcome returning to work today. Although I could deal without the 93 degree heatwave melting me.

The sweat on the back of my neck from working all day and being at the club all night for the CD release is a testament to my complete exhaustion.

Tonight's DJ set went well. Afterwards I played Santa Claus to all the local boys and girls on the "nice" list.

My shorts keep falling off today. Either I'm losing weight or just feeling slutty.

Lots of strange dreams today in the middle of the afternoon, including one of an ex girlfriend giving a multiple birth (but not my children) on my bed. The others were pretty bizarre too but I seem to have forgotten them already.

There's nothing sexy about doing taxes in your underwear.

You can't say Gubernatorial without saying "goober".

Disturbing discovery of the day - Tony Danza has a 31 year-old son.

A good saturday, spent with friends, shopping for CDs, electronics, groceries and liquor. Got some borrowed CDs back and made some loops for my upcoming live DJ set. Tonight will be filled with amateur pornography in the third annual "You Outta Be In Pictures" event at the Coolidge Corner. By now, surely cities like NY and San Fran which claim to be cooler than Boston should have events like this, but no. They're only lying to themselves. This year's event will be featured on HBO even! Of course it's sold out again.

Two big surprises today. #1 I got paid the first "installment" from somebody who owes me money I never thought I'd receive, #2 it was snowing! Not just them little flurries, it was really coming down for a while.

I saw an interesting graffiti modification in the bathroom today. It looked as if somebody originally wrote "ALL JEWS ARE FAGS" but some clever individual added a few letters so it now said "SMALL JEWS SCARE FAGS".

Frank Tovey died today. I hope I'm not being sad out of selfishness but I was really looking forward to seeing him live some time. He had been doing shows last year in Europe and the UK and his management even contacted me for some ideas of some fests to play here in North America. I suggested it to people in The Faint, Adult, I Am Spoonbender but nobody answered me back. I guess they don't know how much they really owe to Fad Gadget.

I was riding behind a black PT Cruiser today. I wonder if the driver realizes their car looks like a ZZ Top-style hearse.

On my lunch break I watched Steven Tyler of Aerosmith sing the National Anthem for opening day here in Boston. He was doing a rather tasteful job until the end where he threw in one of his "ayayayayayah"s. Now if they can only stop playing bloody U2.

No matter how much sleep I get, I've always had embarassing narcolyptic tendencies during business meetings.

Quote me, don't plagiarize me.

If I were to move to Iceland, I would probably have to change my name to something like Jon r Thomsson.

Did the comedy thing, did the acting thing, did the music performance thing, the live DJ thing will go into effect very shortly and it will f'n rule.

Over the weekend, the band plan has been re-evaluated, re-examined, discussed with interested parties and renamed. More details will be only available when there's actually something to show.

Auditioned for a band today. Auditions are really kind of lame, because you don't really know the people nor the songs so it's a terrible way to find out if you'd work well or contribute well to an already-established project.

The good thing about snow in late March is that it doesn't last on the ground long.

Happy first day of spring! It's snowing in Boston.

Out at dinner tonight Jessica got aggrivated by the fact that a version of "Fur Elise" played and the person at the next table placed the song to a McDonald's commercial rather than Beethoven. I told her to just turn that anger around and consider ourselves fortunate that we know better, that we experience the music we do, etc,...

I never thought I'd live to see the day where Sinead O'Connor has more hair than I.

Had a strange dream last night about cats being good mousers. There was some sort of rodent infestation in town and, well, many people had cats as pets but weren't using them to help catch the rodents. Isn't that why cats were domesticated in the first place??

Stand-up comedy is completely unlike acting on stage or playing with a band. There's nobody else on stage and the material you're doing is all your own, completely untried untested over time like somebody like Shakespeare or Neil Simon. I can't figure out if I'll ever do it again.

Went for a bikeride today. Dntel in the walkman as I rode up the trail. "Life is Full of Possibilities" is one of the best albums of 2001, hands down. It was a gorgeous trip but I forgot my lights and the sun set when I reached the end. On the way back my ride was mostly lit by the moon. Very very nice indeed.

There's an old saying in tech support, "There's no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid people.

I've never been an advocate of abstinance or prudish in my thoughts on sexuality and the media and such but the other night I was just watching some random TV show and the two characters who were sort of falling in love ended up making out on a bed with their clothes on completely as the show ended. It was actually a lot cuter and somewhat more exciting, believable, and enjoyable to watch than the proverbial "we're naked in bed" scene with the sheet strategically covering the woman's breast, etc,...

I spoke on the phone with Steven Stapleton today, trying to get a name out of him for that exclusive 12+ minute track he gave me for that super secret disc. He said "hold on a minute, I'm rearranging the letters on my refrigerator" and came up with 'The Purple Ache.' Brilliant.

Where does it say that Humpty Dumpty was an egg?

I can't believe Jessica and I watched a bunch of high school kids doing a drag show. My how times have changed.

Not to flex my political incorrectness but there's another rally happening outside my office today. The only things I can ever make out are "What do we want?" and "When do we want it?/NOW". The goal of their rally is obviously trying to get what they want, so why is that the most incomprehensible thing?

I couldn't believe the number of ThirtyNothings bouncing up and down last night. It's alsmost as if time completely stood still. I can't wait for the new album. It was fucking incredible.

Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1993! The Breeders come back to town to a sold out show at the Middle East.

Growing up in New England you develop some kinda sense about the weather. I knew something weird was coming last night when I was taking the trash out to the curb. It was warm and wet, the rain had stopped and the winds were insanely strong. When I woke this morning it was snowing. Now it's 3:00 pm and the sun is out, the skies are blue but the temperature dropped big time.

My boss's boss at work says I look like an urban adventurer in my bright yellow coat, bike helmet, reflectors and lights in hand...

Mongolian motherfucker:
Southern Comfort
Blue Curacao
top with a little sour mix and perhaps a splash of grapefruit juice
feel your liver burn

I think I have finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up.

It's late, 11:00 pm. I can hear car horns honking in the distance. It's a monumental day for Bostonians and New Englanders.

Groundhog day. The first of my grandparents anniversay with them apart. Spent all day working on web stuff because I'll be watching the Pats win the Superbowl tomorrow.

While Jessica and I argue over snow vs. rain (i love snow, she hates it), I think everybody in this world can agree sleet and freezing rain truly sucks ass. No contest about it.

The saddest thing I saw today was my grandmother saying "Francis, Francis, Francis," finally crying as they were about to put his body into the ground. The enlightening part of the day was spending time with my father's cousin, learning a lot of history about my family that my father never cared to share with me.

Somebody solicited a quote from me for a sticker on an upcoming Merzbow CD release. I gave him the following suggestions:
"One of the most ferocious singer/songwriters of our time."
"Nothing says 'I Love You' more than Merzbow."
"Make out record of the century."
"The feel good hit of your face."
"Use protective gear."
"Music to stalk Tina Yothers by."
"May cause seizures in children under five."
"Q-tips not included."

He passed away today.

I think there's an old saying "good news always sleeps till noon". It's 10:30am and my mom phoned me to say that on top of my grandfather's operation on his two cancers, he's got cirrhosis of the liver and it doesn't look like he'll be around much longer.

Riding my bike home in rush hour traffic is fun. Every other car is stopped and I just fly right by. I've decided from now on every time somebody honks I'm going to wave at them. "Hey!", "Hiya doin?" Maybe give one of them winky/pointy gestures too!

I'm glad The Canonical Guide to Weird Band Names has resurfaced.

Eating out for lunch is much more affordable than eating out for dinner.

I'm not a publicist. Today I picked up the Entertainment Weekly with the feature about the Kranky website. They gave me an A-. It's pretty damned cool. Still, there has not yet been ONE Boston publication who gives a flying rat's ass who I am or what I do. So, I wrote a letter to somebody at the Improper Bostonian, introducing myself, brainwashed, mentioning the nods in Billboard, The Wire, CMJ, Canadian radio, etc,... and get back a letter saying something to the effect of how he "doesn't have a proper outlet" to feature something on me. My reply to that included something to the effect of maybe I should be looking for a publication which doesn't devote so many pages to pictures of drunken white trash at disco clubs.

There's a hawk outside my window at work recently. The sounds he makes I've only heard on the TV and in movies, it's very distinct. Whenever they show a big canyon, some sound effects monkey always has to fill the space with the sound of a hawk like this. I guess he likes this area because a lot of people see him picking up squirrels and pigeons in the courtyard. Yummm.

You smell.

Had a strange dream about my teeth falling out. I hope I'm dead before things start breaking on me. It's bad enough I already have memory issues.

I made a mail order today from some place who ship with Fed Ex and such. But they won't send the order out for about 10 days. What's the point of using Fed Ex at that point? Might as well ship with the good old postal service if they're gonna take their sweet ass time packaging the shit for me.

I told my friend today to bring all his prescribed medications to -one- doctor, not a series of them, just one of them, lay them all out on the table and ask "are all these really necessary?" Aren't they obliged by some sort of oath??? Oh wait, that oath is to save lives. Guess it doesn't apply to shrinks.

I hate being quoted because I often change my mind.

Am I the only one bothered by researchers coming up with new drugs to be addicted to rather than cures? Of course drug companies don't want to pay researchers to find cures, that could pose serious threats to their industry. An industry whose drugs are so outrageously overpriced, probably because they're spending too much money advertising prescriptive medication on prime time network television. What a fucked up industry.

Heard a great expression today, "about as hard to pin down as jello to a wall."

I've come to the realization that I know more junkies in Los Angeles and surrounding communities than anywhere else in the entire world combined. Talking to a friend of mine, he told me about a friend of his in a mexican restaurant one time. He says she had a bad chicken burrito and threw up on the table, then threw the seats at the walls and climbed up on the tabletop to suck the vomit up because she lost her methadone along with it. I asked him if he realized this wasn't normal behavior.

Jumping on an idea from somebody else's typo, I just sent an email to Adam of Stars of the Lid suggesting SOTL and TSOL hook up with either a co-release/split single/remix project/tour thing... Imagine the possibilities!!!

Tonight was the first night of my Stand-Up Comeday course! I'm proud to live in a country and city that offers such interesting things.

Today was one of the best days I can remember. Went CD shopping, picked up Sean, we had a few drinks and played Scrabble at a bar, went and saw The Royal Tenenbaums, caught a free laser light show afterwards and finished up with dinner at an Afghani restaurant. In the words of Ice Cube, "Today was a good day."

Still buzzing after seeing Parker Posey on TV last night.

I broke a long tradition of avoiding MTV when I decided to watch the special on tonight about Plushies and Furries.

Returned to work today. On bike actually. After December 21st, the days start getting longer again. I don't mind biking in the dark or cold, only when it's wet.

Best line I've heard in a while, from The Daily Show tonight: So long as Fox News employs Geraldo Rivera as a "war correspondant" irony is alive and well.

Day after Xmas, most of my friends are out of town. Saw a movie today, alone, in an almost completely empty theater. "Amelie" was incredible and I laughed so hard and had a ton of fun.

Tired after 15 hours of marathon radio.

I was determined to write a pop album during my long break, but after five songs, I need a collaborator big time. All my progressions are sounding too much alike...

Third straight day of 70+ degree weather. Come on! This is December in Boston. I should be able to cut glass with my nipples right about now.

I feel sort of stuck, in more ways than one. Hard to really explain but it happens. I found out today that the Reverend Larry Love died. He died in October while I was away. I remember seeing him all around Central and Harvard Squares. I'll miss the guy. He was a real Reverend at one time!

Up at 6am. There was a bird caught in the radio station this morning. A little sparrow, but it was eerie and made a few dives for me. Luckily I tactfully worked it out of each room one at a time until it left the station. Biked to work, biked to go teach, biked home, went to a concert and I may just have fallen in love again.

The more material possessions you have, the more you have to worry about.

One American soldier dies in Afghanistan and it makes national news. I'm sorry but I don't subscribe to the amount of coverage this gets. People who steal should be prepared to be robbed, people who make jokes about people should expect to be the butt of others jokes, and people who are trained to kill should be prepared to be killed.

Every time I see Mormons in Harvard Square, I think of what LD once said on an email list: ex-Mormons were always the kinkiest guys he's ever had sex with.

Plaid red flannel shirt, blue pants and shoes. Before I headed out I looked in the mirror and came to the conclusion I look like a lumberjack today sans suspenders.

With the exception of "Lips Like Sugar," can somebody please explain what Echo & the Bunnymen songs are all about???

Strange patterns of sleeping and waking today. Couldn't quite figure out why I was so tired.

David Lynch has gone senile and has taken his audiences hostage. I'm enjoying the trip.

Once you see the arrow in the FedEx logo, you always see it.

The third setting on my rear bike light chases the various lights left to right. When I showed my friend Tom this, he said "If I saw that I'd run you off the road."

Egg drop soup is so gross.

Wouldn't it be neat to register for somebody's 30th birthday?

Drew from Sonna says every single Red Hot Chili Peppers songs go "Yabba dabba scuba dabba / suck my dick."

I can't believe Jessica thought I made "shennagle" up.

No more rock and roll bands at Chez Whitney.

Last night I had a dream I was in a record store looking through some stuff and Madonna came over to me and was looking at what I was looking/talking about. She asked me what I did in music and was somewhat impressed by what I consider a rather unimpressive (by rock industry standards) list of credits. Anyhow I had in my bag a stack of those "V/Vm Hate You" CDs and was about to hand her one of them as something "I find entertaining" but had to stop myself since they have a track on there titled "Madonna is a Filthy Slut." Madonna and I left the store and hung out for a bit, no sex however. I don't ever want to be with somebody used more than the Holland Tunnel.

I noticed a grey nose-hair today.

All things must end. Today the Fridge tour ended, I arrived back home with everybody late this morning. And today my kitty died. He was 18 and died peacefully in his sleep. I'm glad I got to see him one last time a few weeks ago when we made it to my folks house.

I don't know how to handle birthdays well. I guess I'm thankful the people close to me acknowledge it, but I hate facing the fact that I'm getting older.

When you think of war zones, you imagine places like Beiruit, Saigon, Kosovo, not New York City. It was very sad today seeing the skyline missing the two biggest buildings.

Woke up at 3:30 am to ensure visas would get done for Fridge. My Palm cheezed out on me so I had to order a replacement since I'll be out on the road soon. At least everything went through and the group will arrive on time.

Jason (Spaceman) Pierce: you're not black and you don't live in Georgia.

New Order & OMD: ruined by Stephen Hague.

When I told my friend Jen about barely sleeping, doing a radio show at 7am and staying out late at night while working during the day, she was like, "that's right, you're still in your 20s".

You can please half of the people some of the time and some of the people half of the time but all of the people none of the time.

I wish the bagpipe played in my neighborhood will stop practicing every morning at 8.

Reviewing music has been the last thing on my mind today.

Honesty is so undervalued. I wish people would be honest and just clearly say what they want or what's on their mind. So much suffering could be avoided if people would just talk with each other.

It is estimated that the networks are losing about 150 million dollars per day by not showing advertisements. While it's a no brainer to admit that loss of life is more important, what's going to happen if all the industries crash and we go into depression? What good is hundreds of thousands of more people without jobs, without income, without stability, without security.

Life goes on. How it does will be determined by our actions.

I hoped to wake up this morning and everything be a dream, but it's not. There is nothing else on anybody's minds. It's going to take a long time to learn how to function properly again for so many people.

I've been speechless nearly all day witnessing the news unfolding. NY looks like a post-nuclear war zone. I don't know if I want to take an airplane until they have a plain clothes armed officer on every flight. Sure, it might not be cost-effective but they're less expensive than human lives.

Summer certainly doesn't seem close to over.

My sweat tastes like salt.

The difference between New Order and Pet Shop Boys is that even when the Pet Shop Boys are crap, they're amusing.

Anne Heche is a certifiable twit.

The funniest thing I saw on the web today was additional notes for a Whitehouse CD release in a catalogue which said, "also includes 14min. extra track 'My Cock's On Fire (LONG VERSION)'"

Today I woke up about 5am with a tummy ache, had people over at 9am, paid bills, was investigated by a detective, biked to work, helped an old man cross a street. Life is wonderful.

I don't want to be a cop
I don't want to be a list-nazi
I don't want to be a hero
I don't want to be a villan
I don't want to be a dominatrix
I don't want to be your mother
I don't want to play god
I don't need the power
I don't need the glory
I just want you to get along

Thankfully Glenn Frey and Kenny Rogers never make it into those 1980s retro shows.

I think I've just witnessed something that can probably be attributed to as being one of the contributing factors of homosexuality becoming so 'in vogue' in the 1990s: the music video of Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Give it Away."

Went out to a show last night. When I got home, white supremacists littered my neighborhood with their filthy propaganda. Some people are so incredibly stupid, they don't realize how good they have it that they can live in a country which is tolerant of as many views as ours. I sometimes wish they'd put up the Mason-Dixon line and give the South their own gun-totin' illegal-abortion god-lovin' country of morons. So long as the North gets NY, DC, Chicago, Boston. As long as we're splitting up, Texas would rather be their own country. I'm sure a country of two-toothed inbreds would fail to be even close to a world power.

So I'm walking in Harvard Square and I walk past this girl and her guy. I had to do a double take as I recognized the face. She looked at me but I was wearing shades, yet she seemed kind of curious too. About 2 blocks later it hit me that it was a girl I liked in high school named Molly. Of course, I turned around and they had headed down a street. I wanted to say "hi" and all but it'd be creepy for me to turn around and run down the street after her. Oh well.

Singer/songwriters shouldn't be painfully direct and honest, it'll probably get them loads of stalkers who can "identify" with everything they're saying.

Well, today I found out the cute redhead I gave the CD to went back to school. Damn!

College kids are beginning to move back into town again. September is so wonderful: they've got their fresh new haircuts, nice new clothes, they're happy and full of warm glow. Come May, they're used and worn and tired, but September is magic again.

On my radio show on Friday night, I played some kinda Austrian nerdy glitch-boy Mego release. The CD was skipping for a while and I didn't even notice.

Watching Dogma again for the second time, it became clearer to me that Kevin Smith wasn't really dogging Catholicism, but really illustrating how lucky it paints us humans out to be. It also be came clearer Ben Affleck is the top and Matt Damon is the bottom in that relationship.

While it's nice that it's sunny and beautiful outside and not amazingly hot, it's a sad reminder than summer's drawing to a close.

Nothing noteworthy happened today.

I love that commercial with Charo. I hope she makes a comeback.

It's sad when people are really excellent to you when they see you, when they can get what they want from you, but once you're out of sight or out of state they don't keep in touch.

So, I got up this morning and got to the radio station only to find the combo changed on the door lock. The thing that irritates me is that after waking up 5 staff people, nobody knew the lock was changed. Nobody except the General Manager, who is ironically most likely a communications major.

After two days of driving and not seeing my bed, I'm fearing touring the country now.

Nothing like the feeling of your own bed, your own pillow and a cool breeze blowing through when you're dead on your feet tired.

Burritoville needs to open in Boston, I need to stop being the point-person (or babysitter), but I did manage to escape and sleep. Coil was incredible, much different than I've seen it ever. Danny and Matt in loin cloths was hilarious. Too manny memories for a quick journal entry.

Mayhem began. Biked to work, biked home, UPS package didn't show up. Fed the animals, jumped in the car and off I was to pick up a wiper fluid cap, Jessica, Ed and barrel to NYC. I'm getting sick of long drives. That night was sushi, drinks, more drinks and mayhem. 3am arrived and no sign of the crew.

Today's my parents anniversary, Madonna's birthday and Elvis' death day.

Things have gone too far when the E! television channel shows "The Olson Twins: The True Hollywood Story".

It's 11:07 PM, I've been up since 5:40 AM. I'm going to sleep well tonight.

We can all thank Sandy for this extreme close up.

I'm in love again. This time with a DV camera for $1,699.00.

Riding my bike home in the dark reminded me I need reflectors and a front light.

Confession time (almost): I have two new obsessions with two relatively new people in my life and I saw something I shouldn't have seen yesterday. I have the desire to get these things off my chest (and also get some action) but I fear any one of the above might read this. There's -no- chance any of these would work out...

We lost power today at work and the A/C along with it. I went shopping and bought some records.

A few weeks ago I was having an argument with a friend from Baton Rouge, LA. He said "we don't know hot" in Boston nor do "we know humid." I think that the fact the temp is supposed to reach 100 tomorrow with a heat index around 115 and Louisiana's in the 80s invalidates his claim. Of course, when you consider we get -40 degree weather with the wind chill in the winter, we out-weather them southerners.

Biking home today, it was amazingly hot. When I took my shirt off there was so much sweat that it felt like I had just been swimming. Except I hadn't been "refreshed" or "cooled off," just gross.

Driving into Canada yesterday was kind of funny. On the way in, after we passed the strange border check, there was a fly in the car. I gave Tom a rolled up magazine, but the sissy boy he was he was afraid of the big bug. We heard something "else" flapping its bug wings in the back and when he looked back saw something big. We pulled over and I popped the back so we could let the thing fly away. I opened the door and the thing was huge, locust-like. Borderline Biblical. I can see it now in a few weeks, we completely destroyed Canada's ecosystem by unleashing a plague of locusts. Brilliant.

Last night's dream was all about swimming in a pool. Damn, it's hot.

I'm so sick of seeing fucking Radiohead's pictures everywhere.

For the first time in my life I can safely say with confidence I love my job. I have my own office and bike to and from work. Who could ask for anything more?

Another strange dream last night - Jessica and I were shopping in a mall and somebody in a tiny store had stepped out. We stole some shirts but I didn't want to, so I put the shirts I took back. She held on to hers and we were both arrested.

I did one of the most difficult things today and quit the teaching gig I was scheduled for in the fall. I had to, it wouldn't be fair to everybody else in my life if I wasn't giving 100%.

Today I'm feeling: overwhelmed.

Had a dream last night Ben Affleck sat down at a cafeteria table across from me. He was kinda friendly, opened a conversation about who knows what. I remember asking him, "How's Matt? I used to work with him at Tower back in '90." Matt was a good guy, shy, quiet, reserved, kind of a geek. He was picked on a bit but I think he's doing pretty well for himself now. Ben, on the other hand I've never met, but everybody I know who went to school with him here in Cambridge says he was an asshole.

Just got some fruit last night at the grocery store, some grapes, nectarines, grapefruits, abd bananas. 'Twas good. Fruit is severely underrated.

Still on the antibiotics from the infection, I didn't drink at all tonight at the concert. Boy did I feel "out of my element" like a Deadhead at a show without pot. Everybody was irritating, I disliked the audience, I didn't feel loose enough, and the amazingly pungent smell of cigarette smoke followed me home on my shirt and pants.

I finally struck an opening door while biking into work this morning. Good thing for everybody involved I wasn't injured and didn't spill. The bitch yelled at me "pay attention" but how am I supposed to expect what appears to be a parked car to suddenly open a door. I drive past hundreds of parked cars each day. Luckily Sandy informed me that every time somebody gets injured like this, it always falls on the fault of the driver and their insurance pays for it.

Classic rock and oldies radio stations need to be wiped off the face of the planet along with 80s retro.

If cats could talk, they would have the foulest mouths of any member of the animal kingdom. "What the fuck do I have to do around here to get some water in my goddamned bowl?" or when they hiss at you it's like "FUCK YOU!"

At the video store tonight they were playing "Bring it On!" What a wonderful country we live in where High School Girl Tossing is a competitive sport.

Too much pain last night, could barely sleep. I've been awake since 4am. Cancelling my performance tonight.

All the way to Mass Eye & Ear Infirmary for my goddamn earache pain which has grown to excruciatingly painful that I can't pay any attention to anything else, and they don't give me anything for the pain.

I can now add "Noise Maverick" to my list of titles, thanks to the Boston Phoenix.

If Britney Spears married me, she'd be Britney Whitney.

I used to use the phrase, "More goth than your grandmother!" until I found out a friend of mine's grandmother is a Catholic widow.

In almost every major North American city, you can find a gothic themed night at a club with a title taken from a Joy Division or early New Order song.

Goths are funny, they seem to hate each other more than anti-goths.

I wish people would simply be up-front about things, ask a question, they should answer it. "So you mean to tell me I won't get paid until August," I said. She responded with "The pay period just went out for July 15th, there's two pay periods a month." I asked again, same word choice, she gave me the same textbook response. Finally she fessed up to a check being cut on the 31st. She still never confirmed nor denied that I wouldn't be paid until August.

Had a weird dream, this one was about my friend Jeremy and Jessica and we were all in high school and some other student was stealing weird CDs out of my locker. Jeremy and Jessica were still in high school when I graduated college.

The Summer Shack was Legal's prices at shit quality. Hope to never go there again.

Last night after the concert, the topic of Peaches' upcoming show was introduced. In the words of my friend Pete, "She's 5'3", Canadian, 35 with an afro. What more could you want?"

It's amazing how much cleaner everything looks with new shelves.

New term for mass consumption: Whitney repartee.

The total endowments of Harvard University is estimated around 19 billion dollars. I guess it's safe to say they're "well-endowed."

Strangely enough it's seemingly more difficult to get a band shows than it is to get them a record deal.

Mopping the floor today I realized I completely suck at doing housework and if I had enough money, I'd hire cleaners. But then I realized what a weird culture we're living in where we're almost becoming incapable of doing many things, we have to hire people to do specific things. Is it evolution? Mutation? or just laziness?

"Tai Chi, Chai Tea?" Whichever Simpsons writer who came up with that must have been sitting on that one for months.

I hate it when I have the opportunity to say something and I don't. It happened three times today where I could have said more but regretted not saying what I should have. In the aftermath, it's plaguing me. The first two incidents involved motorists not using signals and cutting me off, rudely (one on my bike, one while driving). The other was at the bus stop in Brookline which involved a Hamburger. I don't know what held me back, since I've always agreed that "It's better to regret something you have done than regret something you haven't."

Biking home in a summer thunderstorm wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It was a lot like a day at the waterslide park without the chlorine or pee.

I think July is International "Fuck You, England" Month. Canada's got Canada Day, the USA has Independence Day and France has Bastile Day.

Another weird dream, some fictitious indie rock band and I were hanging out (can't remember their name but it was something like Hate), I ended up giving them a ride to Memphis and stayed there with them at somebody's house for a few days. They performed a show where a strange old guy came on stage for one song - he was described as a "mystic" but looked more like Dick Van Patten crossed with Will Oldham. Immediately tons of 50-somethings showed up and bum-rushed the stage. It didn't make sense to me. Later on we had an incredible thunderstorm, they wanted to hang out with me more but I wanted to get back to Boston.

This morning I finally got paid, it's been a long time, I also started sending out music as the pimp.

Remind me never to see a Cynthia Von Buhler performance again, especially one where Peter Choyce has the potential to get naked.

In a strange reference to the duck dream, there was a news article on tv last night about ducks rescued from a drain, the ducks were put in a bag and driven back to the pond. It wasn't snowing and they all lived however.

Sleep deprived and sore jaw from the filling put in today.

Whoever doesn't know how to drive a manual transmission automobile doesn't know how to drive.

Biking home today some dumb other cyclist was weaving through traffic, disobeying lights and not using hand signals. On top of that I would pass him every now and again but he would always pass me when I was waiting at red lights. I'm not surprised when I caught up to him at one point he was in a heated argument with a motorist. It's assholes like him that give other cyclists like me a bad rep on the streets. I hope he learns soon that it's his actions that will cause trouble.

Why do recruiters only call when I have a job and am happy there?

Drummers need to be punched when they begin to consider writing music or doing a 'solo' album.

Nothing is sacred in the world of sampling, not even Juice Newton or Steve fucking Miller.

I realize however why kids don't like public radio - boring politically correct post-hippie announcers celebrating "TV turn-off week" and honoring authors who write books about why not to reward children for doing well.

I emailed NPR a note about their overuse of the term 'sending a message'. "Consumer groups are sending a message to corporations." "Lesbian protesters are sending a message to congress." If people want to send a message, there's always the post office, email or wire services. My last straw was a report from the Gaza strip where the reporter said a suicide bomber who killed 2 teenagers and himself was "sending a message" to the Israeli government. I was pissed off and clarified them in the email that it was plain murder. I haven't heard them use the term since.

I never thought I'd listen to NPR when I grew up. It's hard to believe that the commercial radio stations have gone even suckier.

I had the strangest dream last night. I had a bag of live ducks in the car with me and I had the window down to get rid of all the feathers. It was snowing, the ducks died.

Scorpio is a scorpion. His claim to fame is the death of Orion. Scorpio is the one who stung Orion causing him to become sick and die. Scorpio also travled around the earth causing havoc where ever he went. Scorpio can be seen during the summer in the northern hemisphere, but is best viewed in the southern hemisphere.

People never leave the milk on the table while they're eating cereal like they do in movies and on tv.

You know you're hungover when you look at the floor and nearly fall down. Smelling like the Middle East Downstairs the morning after ain't so great either.

Musicians should never marry their fans (ex: Wings) nor should they ever procreate (ex: Sean Lennon).

Sometimes I wonder if there's any such thing as love, or whether it's simply varying levels of obsession.

Pagers are _so_ 20th Century.

My dream "pop" record label would include Heia, Jay Jay Johanson, Tocotronic, and G.D. Luxxe.

You're cute when you've been drinking, even cuter when I've been drinking.

Nudity is such a weird word - nobody says it in normal everyday speech since it's so awkward to pronounce. Why can't cable channels just say "full-frontal Kate Winslet" or "unnecessary Michael Douglas butt shot."

I don't agree with the Death Penalty. As a society who pretends to be advanced, we need to study these people — who have reached the top of their self actualization as Maslow would theorize — if we're going to learn how to raise children more responsibly.

As long as indie rock guys have girlfriends, there will be people like Elliot Smith.

I keep meaning to make up a web page for all the old friends I've had in the past who I have lost touch with.

Jenna Bush would make a great name for a porn star.

Why is it that every time I have to wake up early the next day I can't sleep well at night?

While I can't begin to understand how my mom taught for 30 years, I now have a lot more respect for her.

Woken up by a call, went in to teach unexpectedly, will go back tomorrow to teach 10 hours in a row, rushed to an interview directly afterwards, haven't ingested anything but water, it's 8pm, time to head out for a noise show.

Not enough hours in the day to do everything, even a weekend day.

Walking around the city today, seeing screaming kids made me fear having little children.
Watching "The Virgin Suicides" tonight made me fear having beautiful teenage daughters even more.

"Uploading Memories" would make a great album title.

While you slept I redesigned my web site.

elsewhere: linkedin || youtube || || amazon wishlist || discogs store